I want to begin by impressing upon you that Milla Jovovich is ten trillion kinds of hot. You know it’s true. And Ultraviolet… is a great movie. If you watch it. With the sound off.
It makes me sad to suggest such a thing, because Klaus Badelt’s score rocks. But I think there are actually cells in my brain that perished as a result of the script writing. If I had watched it with the sound off, I would be a smarter, happier person. I would feel enlightened and spiritually uplifted by all those great visual effects – not to mention many excellent bodyparts of the leading lady.
If you’re going to watch it with the sound on, I’m afraid there’s just not enough nudity to make up for the writing. I’m sorry. I hate to be the one to have to tell you.
They should make a feature toggle to turn the voices off. That way, you can hear the music – the sound effects, voom, pow, bam! And you can see the nifty graphics. And the fabulous fight choreography. And the cute costume changes. (There are many, many cute costume changes.) And on top of all that, you can see the badass way Milla’s lip curls when she’s plowed through her emotional ceiling at seriously pissed off.
If you watch it with the sound on, you are never, ever going to get those eighty-eight minutes back. And that’s a really long eighty-eight minutes.
I’m just saying.
Wow.
