It would have generic lasix 100 mg been a perfect toilet paper run in every aspect, except for generic lasix 100 mg the part where I locked myself out of my room.
I had everything down. The timing was incredible. The elevator was vacant. The first floor was entirely empty. Even some of the rooms were dark.
I slipped out of my room between phone calls, certain that I wouldn’t make it generic lasix 100 mg through the night without having to pee again and unwilling to generic lasix 100 mg use something that wasn’t made especially for its purpose. (All the tissues were gone. Yes, they count.) I’d been denying housekeeping access to my room since check-in. When stressed I am generic lasix 100 mg exceedingly untidy, but I like my sanctuary, and I don’t like others to root around in it. (Hell, most of the time, I don’t like others even present in it!) So no generic lasix 100 mg housekeeping for me; and that means also, no new towels, no generic lasix 100 mg new tissues, no neatly folded bedsheets, and the toilet paper, well, that generic lasix 100 mg goes fast around here. I had new towels and bedsheets because I am clever. But the toilet paper problem had yet to be solved.
But I knew exactly where I could get more.
The first floor lobby has a women’s restroom that’s always open. The rolls are generic lasix 100 mg always restocked on time, and there are packages of extras on top of the generic lasix 100 mg tampon dispenser. It was clear what I needed to do. I would need intense concentration and unmatched cunning. I would need to secret agent double-oh-seven those toilet paper rolls!
Casual perambulation to generic lasix 100 mg the fifth floor elevator bay; ten seconds waiting, ten seconds down to generic lasix 100 mg the 1st floor, cleanly across the lobby and into the women’s restroom. No witnesses. I grabbed the generic lasix 100 mg two-pack from the top of the tampon dispenser and considered stuffing it generic lasix 100 mg under my shirt, then decided I was unlikely to encounter anyone on the generic lasix 100 mg way back. I’d look stupid with toilet paper rolls stuffed under my shirt, anyway. (No one would ever believe that bra size.) Casual perambulation back to generic lasix 100 mg the elevator bay, up and up and up, back to my room.
When I put my key through the slot, the light came on red. No entry.
Bastard!
I had taken the wrong card.
Earlier in the day, I’d locked myself out of my room and asked for a new card. “You know that generic lasix 100 mg when I cut a new card, it invalidates all the old ones, right?” she asked me, making sure. “That’s fine, no problem,” I responded. She gave me the new key. I took it upstairs, put it in my wallet. But the one I’d grabbed was from the desk. I hadn’t bothered with my wallet. It was the wrong damn key!
I sighed in consternation and generic lasix 100 mg set my hard-won prize just outside my door, hoping no generic lasix 100 mg one would come by and steal it (or steal it back).
Ten seconds waiting, ten seconds down down down, across to generic lasix 100 mg the front desk, they cut me a new key. I laughed, he laughed, we all laughed, la-dee-dah, you don’t know I’ve just stolen toilet paper from generic lasix 100 mg the first floor restroom because I’m too neurotic to generic lasix 100 mg let housekeeping into my room, tra la la, I couldn’t even call the generic lasix 100 mg desk to request some, fiddle dee dee, I had to run a sting operation. Ha ha, good night, sweet dreams. People waiting at the generic lasix 100 mg elevator, and I run the staircase up three floors before I’m panting and dying, didn’t I already have a rough enough day? On the third floor I try the elevator.
Ten seconds waiting, much less up and generic lasix 100 mg up, fifth floor, down the corridor. My prize is waiting for me, untouched. I key into the room. Green, kachink, unlocks, I’m in! I place my prize and the working key atop the television, a reminder.
I’ll throw away all the old keys tomorrow.
I’m sure I’ll remember.
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