Click My Nose

I just caught myself saying "I do, and I don't know what you're talking about here; I REALLY wish I could sit down and chat with you about it in person." My irony sensor immediately overloaded and exploded. I guess I'm sort of the opposite of this and not the opposite of this all at the same time. In that, I'm much better at conveying myself in the form of a written or spoken story than I ever could be by having a conversation. However, at the same time, I much prefer talking with people in person than online, even though I'm 100 times more awkward at talking than I am typing.

I don't think there is a point to this rant. I like the new hairdo. Bye Megan.

hmmm... generational conflict.

The fact that in-person relationship building takes time and effort is part of what we old codgers think is part of the (imaginary) "good old days" - in person, you may have to listen to an acquaintance tell the same "how I met my wife" story 10 times over as many years before you finally learn that the guy's wife is slowly dying and that's his way of holding on. In person, you get very edited versions of people's opinions because they want you to like them. In person, you can see the glimmer of love your coworker has for her niece - something she might never think to write down anywhere. And before the internet, that was the only way to get things done. People who tried shortcuts (like sales guys who fast-talked people into buying) got bad results in the end. So, to a lot of us old-timers, we want to proceed with caution on the internet because it sure looks like a shortcut.

All that said, I really enjoyed clicking your nose so you could tell me about clicking your nose. :)

Darlin', more than half the fun of getting to know someone is that personal, interactive time spent in the meat-world. I can look you up on the internet and learn things about your accomplishments, your credentials, fun and crazy pictures, etc. I've read this site front to back (and watched you devolve, so to speak, as I kept clicking the "previous" button). I got a feel for who you are. I saw the resume for this life you've been leading.

But I didn't learn about >you<. Even an employer has to look past the resume to find out who is the person behind the paper.

I don't want a button next to your head, or be able to click on your nose to have your life reeled off like a ticker tape from your left ear. What you want is to be able to deliver that instant gratification and mass-information absorption that can be gained via the internet... but that's only the Cliffs Notes, not the whole story. Getting to know someone -- really learning about them -- takes time.

For me there is nothing better than getting together, having a drink/meal/movie/game, or just sitting around talking for no good reason. It's the discovery that makes it so worth while. Sure, I read [$anecdote] that you wrote in your blog, but it lacks something -- the intonation of the voice, the superfluous details that get polished out of writing, the body language, and the interaction... and nothing is more enjoyable than pulling details out of someone's head while they're talking. That's precisely how you get to know someone better, by poking around for the things that >you< need to fill in the blanks, not what they think you need.

When the four of us got together it was a good time. We were allowed to ramble on, get sidetracked, non sequitur onto other topics, and ask questions as we went. It was fantastic, and you and Marty were perfectly charming. I had a blast, and learned more about the two of you than I did in any amount of blogging or email. The best part... there is so much more to learn, and there always will be. I really look forward to doing that again.

The other half of the fun, the part that doesn't involve learning, is the part where you get more comfortable with someone because you know them. You may not know everything -- and here's the important bit -- you don't need to. This is absolutely the best example of the journey being more important than the destination, and the best way to travel in face-to-face. Relax, take the scenic route. you'll be rewarded for it.

I mastered toast a few years ago. I especially enjoy it with peanut butter.

I LOVE the video and really think the window and the view is extra special cool. I think what you do and how you do it online rocks - and I bet offline rocks too. Caring and listening is a multi-dimensional skill set.