I get a kick out of the way people look at me when I say I’m waking up at 5 the next morning.

Willingly.

Excitedly!

Or when I show them my (very) green vegetable juice for the day. Or when I announce that I’m embarking on a polyphasic sleep trial—22 waking hours for every 24. Or when I mention that I haven’t worked a “regular job” in the last five years at least, and I don’t intend to do so ever again.

You know. Stuff like that. Strangeness. Edges. Poking.

Is it possible that part of my motivation to do thrilling things is the fact that someone somewhere thinks I’m nuts? (In addition to improving my life, of course. Duh.) Is it just the exhibitionist edgewalker in me? (If that doesn’t give you a rockin’ mental image, I don’t know what will.)

Perhaps I should use this particular tactic to motivate myself more often? The ability to elicit strange looks and confused responses?

Would it work?

It might. It really might. But you know what’s better? The poking. I like to poke people. I get a kick out of poking people. Many people only ever experience real growth when poked, and without poking, I think we’d all get a little bit too comfortable. We need to be exposed to the things we don’t understand. Sometimes, we need to be confronted with them! We need to see that even considering our differences, we still manage to have things in common. We need to see that the diversity around us is healthy, positive—and more than that, essential to the forward movement of the entire world around us.

And maybe I’m just a little bit of a sadist. Because I admit it, poking people and seeing the freaked out looks on their faces when they’ve encountered a mindset they don’t understand, that’s entertaining. But it’s incredibly exciting, too. Because—what do you think will happen next? If poked often enough, forgetting isn’t an option.

Might they under go some kind of dramatic learning or new understanding?

Might they open up to more change and growth over the course of their whole lives?

God, it could be anything.

Doesn’t the growth potential just give you shivers?

In the past few weeks of eating primarily raw food, I’ve noticed a very interesting development—my arthritis pains are back! This is particularly interesting because as far as I can tell, I’ve been eating healthier than ever. My preferred 90% raw has slipped down to 70% or so most days (I wondered if that would happen; many sources say it’s easier to keep from slipping if you just stick to 99% or 100%), but I’m consuming a ton of amazing, delicious, fresh green produce. As far as I can imagine, this new development can be attributed to the following possible causes:

• New sensitivity. When I originally identified my wheat = arthritis issue and went off processed wheat, I was just fine with sprouted Ezekiel bread; it didn’t cause me any problems at all. But after I’d been off wheat for a long time, the sprouted bread started causing me arthritis pain. A little, but it was there. Like many other things, it’s like zooming in on a fractal; making one big change revealed other smaller changes that needed to be made too. Getting rid of unsprouted wheat increased my sensitivity to what’s going on in my body, so I was finally able to notice the problems with sprouted wheat, too. (This is a big honking theory—so let me know if you see holes!) Likewise, it’s possible that getting rid of a certain tier of food in my diet has revealed a new level of sensitivity, which may mean there are other foods I need to eject in order to keep my arthritis away. (For instance, I may need to eat quite a bit less fruit—it might be a fruit sugars thing at this level, rather than just a processed sugars thing.)
• Unidentified Flying Objects. I am still definitely open to the possibility that there’s wheat somewhere in my diet and I’m just not recognizing it. I’ve thought about this a lot since I noticed the new pain in my hands, but I haven’t run any actual experiments yet. So this is still definitely possible.
• Detox, y’all. Detox does a ton of wacky things, so I am definitely not ruling out the possibility that I have inflammation caused by raw detox, and the inflammation is manifesting as arthritis pain in my hands. (When I made the wheat connection, I linked wheat and sugar to inflammation and inflammation to arthritis—it made sense then, so this isn’t unreasonable.) Theoretically it will go away if this is the case, but I admittedly understand very little about detox, so I’ll need to do more research.

To be completely honest, it could be all these things. I think my first, biggest question is this: What am I eating right now that could be causing inflammation? I’m going to need to take this to another level to find out.

I’m bizarrely grateful to my arthritis pain, as frustrating as it is when my living depends on my ability to interact with my computer. That pain has propelled me into more brilliant change and personal growth than possibly anything else in my life. And here I am, very possibly looking at another change that needs to be made.

Score ten for arthritis pain, people! ;}

You know… I never really listened to these lyrics. And now that I’ve have, I’ve been playing this one song over and over:

As of last night, there is no doubt in my mind that eating more raw produce puts me in a more emotion-based state of mind. I feel moved more often. I feel connected. I verge on tears more often, in a way that identifies what is important to me, what must happen next, what it’s time for me to do. All issues with internal and external motivation aside, the explosion of emotional growth I’m experiencing has served as a compass for the decisions I make and the energies I expend. I’m getting more sensitive to it all the time. It’s one of the things that makes me truly wonder about being completely, 100% raw, even considering the dramatic change that would mean for my lifestyle. (Well, I suppose I’ve undergone some pretty dramatic changes already. Big deal, right?)

For those of you who are curious, I’m not completely sure when the step from 90% raw to 100% raw will happen (or if it will happen?), but I have a feeling there will be a time for it and I’ll know when that time is. I’m looking for the right route, the one that feels the best and results in the healthiest, strongest, most stable Megan. It’s not going to be exactly like anyone else’s, but that’s what makes it interesting. ;}

I feel like I’m understanding, in touch with, more than ever. Or maybe it all just spoke too quietly for me to hear, or maybe I just wasn’t listening. And although I’ve been following these ideas for awhile now, the understanding just continues to get… louder.

Your number has been called. Don’t let yourself down, don’t let yourself go. Your last chance has arrived. You’ve got to be the best, you’ve got to change the world and use this chance to be heard. Your time is now.

That’s pretty straightforward, folks.

Listen to the band.

Yesterday I discovered Daily Juice, a raw juice bar down south mentioned by friends and, apparently, a raw cafe in a different location further north! I made a split decision while out on errands to mosey down to Barton Springs, because I knew that this would probably be my only break of the day—and I wanted it to count. I wanted to be out in the sun and do something interesting!

Here’s a video advertisement they have up, though I’m not sure how recent it is. (I have it on good authority that their website is not up to date—nor does it look it—but the location, building and decor are still the same.)

My visit was delicious.

I am not ashamed to say that I walked out of there loaded with fresh juice and giggling like a maniac. And as hopped up on nutrients as I was when I got back to work yesterday, I still had amazing juices left over for this morning.

If you think you’re going out to eat with me, or for drinks, sometime soon, there’s a damn good chance we’re going to a Daily Juice… ;}

I’ve been mostly raw since Sunday/Monday—almost a week—and though my detox seems to fluctuate with my raw levels (100% results in super dry skin on my hands, ow), I’m gradually getting more and more manic about food. This is not the addictive response I’ve had in the past. Over the last ten years boxes of cookies have given way to pizzas and milkshakes and much healthier “junk”, like peanut butter cups with no wheat, sugar or dairy in them. I know what that feels like, and this is something different.

This is like what I experienced when I discovered coconut water and carrot juice. It’s a teeny bit like a “sugar!!” reaction but it’s different. It’s like my body is shrieking “NUTRIENTS!” and doing anything it can think of to get more of them.

And so today I’ve had double green juice (two kinds!), two zucchini boats (or stuffed zucchini, if you want to sound serious and professional, but I think BOATS are FUN) with a ton of nut filling & tomato and a little bit of garlic, and now a huge gorgeous smoothie: kumquats, mangos, cherries, hemp, apple juice and avocado. It is insanely delicious.

It’s like I just can’t get enough food. But I don’t feel deprived… I don’t feel like this is a reaction to me having starved myself, or waited too long to eat. It’s like I’m just way too excited about this food, and jumping right the hell into the pool. Apparently my body has the same personality I do. ;}

Part of it may also be that I’ve started to really have fun with eating this way. Juicing in the morning isn’t too hard and I’ve gotten into a routine that gets the kitchen cleaned fast (and avoids hurting my back). Even cleaning the juicer isn’t bad when I fit it into my workflow the way it is now. And I’m even starting to understand how to partially prepare meals beforehand—for instance, I can continue to make zucchini boats for DAYS because I have a ton of zucchini in the fridge, a ton of tomatoes, and two huge bowls of nut goop I made Thursday night. It’s just a matter of scooping out a zucchini and putting the filling in, chopping a tomato, sprinkling with salt, etc. It’s not hard, it’s reasonably quick, it’s crunchy and delicious, it’s good! (I couldn’t find this recipe on the web anywhere, but email me and I’ll share.)

And later I’ll have salad—because I have some greens washed and ready in the fridge. But first I’ll finish my smoothie.

Hungry yet? :P

I’m eating raw again! I expect this “experiment” to last much longer, as I have been pining after it for months and months and know how much happier and better it makes me feel on a day-to-day basis. I’m aiming for 90-100% and learning a lot of excellent recipes, as well as starting to understand some of the logistics of eating primarily raw food and, well, how to do it. This is exactly what I was missing when I tried it before, and so far results are fantastic.

An overview of my fantastic results, having begun three days ago:

• The food is freaking delicious.
• I don’t have to worry about burning anything. (Ha.) Or accidentally setting dish towels on fire. (HA!)
• I’m not having any issues with cravings, because I’ve been craving raw food for months—this is just getting what I want. (Not sure how long that will last, but it’ll be okay.)
• I can go running or do other exercise right after most meals, if I want to. Raw food is super duper light and I don’t really feel it (like, for instance, the “heaviness” of cooked food), except in my rising energy levels and general good feeling.
• I don’t feel tired or worn out or anything like that. (This is so much better than using caffeine and crashing all the time.)
• Cooked food is already starting to look largely unappetizing. Wacky!
• I feel great. Some parts of the day are “normal”, but some are getting a little weirdly zoomy. Example. (Oh yeah, I forgot, I’m always like that…)

My fridge is stuffed full of green leafy things and bags of nuts, and I have lots of fruit on the kitchen counter. The juicer is primed and at the ready. Green juice is DELICIOUS! I have leveled up to 28, and 28s eat primarily raw food. ;}

Yesterday Marty and I ate a pomelo / pommelo / pummelo / shaddock (I’m going to stick with “pomelo”, I think, in the interests of our sanity). It is a huge grapefruit-like thing, but less tart and more sweet. Marty called it the Grapefruit That Time Forgot, because it looks just like a dinosaur and we had to gnaw into it like cavemen. He also liked it because, chopped in half, it looked like a brain.

Devouring my half-pomelo, I felt like a wild girl on a sandy shore before the advent of human speech. Eating with my hands! Words just aren’t appropriate, you know?

It was a bit messy, but utterly worth it—and really, not as messy as some of the other strange produce I’ve eaten (read: tried to eat). I have decided that I will plan a gathering for the express purpose of eating pomelos. We can lay a tarp out in the living room. It will be just like a cuddle party! Except with pomelos. And… a tarp.

Okay, different from a cuddle party, but similar because of the glee.

I am experiencing a little bit of detox, even this early on; my skin is kind of dry on my hands and I know from reading Steve’s raw trial that it’s probably not just because of all the washing of fresh vegetables. But I feel pretty mellow and happy (and also pretty silly) so I foresee good things. I think I need a better blender, though. Y’all find me a blender company to sponsor my raw adventures, and I’ll talk about ‘em. (Am I famous enough yet?)

La la la fresh growing food! My life is good.

It’s the bounce that convinces me I’ve made a great change.

The one night of Chinese take-out. The innocent-looking deli meat sandwich (with actual wheat bread). A couple of Christmas cookies. A piece of pizza (with cheese!). A cutesy sugary cocktail. A couple bites of Marty’s restaurant steak. God forbid: a Coke.

You might find this list underwhelming (or worse, delicious), but for me each of these things is a bounce from the nutrition that keeps me functioning: Fresh vegan foods, without wheat or milk or cheese, plenty of fruit, very natural sweeteners (like agave) and as much as possible, raw produce. Delicious, fresh, real food!

The difference in the way I feel now from the way I felt several years ago isn’t so apparent… until I bounce. Every time I bounce, I remember why I made these changes. The bounces used to happen constantly. It was maddening! These days, I go longer and longer without bouncing. And yet, I’m still perversely grateful for the bounce—because it clarifies, again, why I want this.

After three weeks of eating strictly vegan, anything on that evil list will knock me out of my seat. Some of it will make me sick fast. Sugar takes down my immune system, dairy makes my sinuses act up in a scary way. The things on that list make me slow, and sluggish. They mess up my digestion. They screw up my sleep patterns, and waking up in the morning is nigh impossible. They make my arthritis flare up (ow). None of these things were all that apparent until I’d lived my life without them for awhile. I had no idea what my food was doing to me until I stopped eating some of it.

I don’t think these things happen because I’m some kind of food freak. I think these things happen because I’m a human being.

Without the bad stuff, I feel completely different. Light. Good. Happy, invisible digestion. Falling asleep when I want to and waking up easily. Sleeping soundly, even. Hands and fingers that don’t feel stiff or hurt when I work. A clear head. A great mood. Before I changed the way I ate, I don’t know that I’d ever experienced some of those things—maybe since the day I was born. And I would never have known the difference if I hadn’t started making changes.

Every time I bounce, I get back to business faster and surer than before. The bounce itself is unpleasant, and some bounces last longer than others (especially if I get sick). But I sure am grateful to the bounce for the reminder. My only request, O Bounce, is that you continue to get the job done faster and faster (with more months between) as time goes by. At least, that kind of bounce.

It’s hard to forget, after all, that my food experiences started with a bounce. When I ate meat at every meal and boxes of cookies for dessert, eating one vegan meal was a wonderful bounce. A wonderful, delicious bounce. Those bounces got better and better… until they inverted.

I request more good bounces, and hope to need fewer sober reminders. ;}

So… do you bounce?

(Do you need to bounce?)

Chances are, next week I will have a beautiful and complex understanding of exactly what this thing is and how to eat it—but right now, I’m stumped!

[Edit: Thank you George!! It’s purple kohlrabi, and it sounds like it will make a delicious stir fry…!]

I had no idea I would like carrot juice so much. What the hell!?

When I started drinking coconut water I was blown away by how good it made me feel—how as soon as I’d had a few sips of it my body started craving it like crazy, and I couldn’t get enough (well, for the first three or four coconuts, at least). I read all this stuff about coconut water having all kinds of good things in it, so that seemed reasonable to me (if also a little magical).

This morning Marty and I juiced a big bag of organic carrots and holy crap, people, carrot juice is da BOMB.

And I never say “da bomb”.

I had half a glass, not watered down or anything like that, but with some ice. And I hadn’t even had breakfast yet, but I started to feel really great and a little energized. And when it was gone, I wanted the rest. With a mad passion, giiiiive me the juiiiiice. But since Marty helped me juice it, I’m leaving him some. Curses! I wonder if Costco will give me a discount if I buy a ton of carrots…

So now I need to find some recipes for the carrot pulp left over, since there’s no possible way I’m going to toss it… and it looks like I’ll be drinking a lot more carrot juice from now on. We can put some on salads, but it’s the pulp from five pounds of carrots—so there’s a lot of it. I’m thinking golden macaroons (with agave) and maybe some kind of carrot cake? I’ve never made carrot cake before! I’m sure there’s a good write-up out there without wheat or dairy or sugar in it. I am not the only person in the world who does not want to eat those things. Who likes carrot juice. A lot.

Marty said I had a carrot moustache. I think he’s screwing with me.

Compulsively wiping my mouth anyway…

Oh, and by the way…

My Johnson’s Backyard Garden CSA membership is FREAKING AWESOME! I get tons of these beautiful little vegetables in a box every week, and a half dozen of good happy grass-fed eggs for Marty, and I transfer it all into my pretty rainbow bin and bring it home and then we EAT IT!

So far it’s fairly similar to Greenling, except more of my money goes to the people who grow the food, and I have the opportunity to swap veggies if there’s something in my box I’m not crazy about. (I haven’t bothered yet, because I’m having a great time learning how to eat new things, but it’s really nice to have the option!) I also don’t have to make sure to be home watching the gate like a hawk to make sure I’m there when my delivery comes, and I have a nice four hour window to pick my food up. I rather think the veggies look better from Johnson’s than Greenling’s local box; this may be because the produce takes longer to get to me with Greenling (and is out of the ground longer), but I’m not sure. I love all the pretty colored peppers and little yummy tomatoes and gorgeous white radishes. Marty says he will be using those radishes to bonk shy-guys, but I have insisted that we EAT them. Yesterday, we made delicious vegetable stew!

I’ve also discovered that since we buy almost entirely raw produce now (wow. when did that happen?) I need more crisper space! I’m not completely clear on this crisper thing, but the greens in the crispers survive the week much better than the ones in the fridge proper, so it has me wondering if i can buy some kind of extra crisper for the upper parts of the fridge. I’m going to have to read up on veggie cold storage. I don’t want to have to cook very much of it if I can avoid it (though our plans for the stew include eating some for lunch and putting it in meal-sized bags in the freezer for easy defrost & devour once we start to run out of food).

For those of you still wondering, I have to say this: We’re eating organic produce, a lot of it raw, and we’re not buying very much packaged food (plastic, glass, paper, jars & whatnot). I am almost 100% certain now that eating a diet of organic produce is less expensive than eating almost any other typical American diet, with the possible exception of the stomach-turning Walmart diet, which I would not wish on my evilest, worstest enemy. So if you’ve been complaining about organic and natural and pesticide free being too goddamn pricy… you’re depending on packaged food way too much. Or maybe meat.

Okay, now I’ve done my food-related people poking for the day. You totally owe me a zucchini for making your life better.

Stew ahoy!