This morning while searching for something to listen to while I showered, I stumbled on a TED Talk by Martin Seligman, the author of a book called Learned Optimism that I’d been looking at fairly recently. I thought, hmm, why not? And I put it on. (There’s a sidenote here about the sheer glee it gives me to stream TED Talks from the internet through my iPhone without having to do anything more than download an itsy bitty app—but I’ll save that for later. It’s bound to last, so it’s not like it will be old news in a month or two.)

In this talk, Seligman is talking about three kinds of happiness and how they work in human beings: A pleasurable happiness, where you have good feelings and good things happen to you. A “flow” happiness, where you are engaged with your environment in a productive way. And a meaning happiness, where something you are doing or involved with has a higher meaning that drives you. I don’t know if he’s written a book that focuses more on the material in this talk, but man, it blew me away. It was all I could do to keep soaping up, because I kept forgetting that I was supposed to be getting done with my shower and back to all the other stuff I had to do today.

What this imprinted on me was something I’ve been noodling with for a long time; happiness is not necessarily made of leisure, and it doesn’t have to only be made of meaning—it can be made of engagement of self, something that I’ve always found intensely rewarding and enjoyable, and often wondered, in passing, if there was something wrong with me. Meaning is the most powerful part of any pursuit, and pleasure is pleasurable, but engagement is no can of beans—in fact, Seligman says that in terms of producing significant, lasting happiness, meaning is first and engagement is second. Pleasure produces happiness, but it just doesn’t hold a candle to the other two in terms of effect and results. This fascinates the hell out of me, as it ought to, since I get a lot of flack for not relaxing enough.

Not to say that I shouldn’t relax more—I should. We need balance. Our brains need recharge time. But still, interesting, right? My happiness is primarily in meaning and engagement, like he says, though engagement for me is the thrill of the chase—I sometimes think it’s more important to me than meaning, but of course that’s not true, since the only things that truly engage me are the ones that have great meaning to me. It’s just that the meaning is not always the most overt part of the equation.

Where’s your happiness at?

Time moves fast. Have you noticed?

One day you’re thinking about the great things you’re going to do as soon as you get out of this rut, and the next you’re looking back and going, Shit, I’ve been in that rut for eight weeks!

And then maybe a few months, you know? A few months can turn into all kinds of time.

If you don’t do the things that are supremely meaningful for you now, when will you do them?

Tomorrow?

Next year?

Never?

I got a bit muddled this afternoon and went out on the porch with my markers to sort it out. I dribbled my brain out onto the paper for awhile, finger painting, listening to the wind and the rustling of branches and the sound of quiet Austin heat (104 degrees, to be precise). What I finally came up with was the sort of complete divine inspiration that makes you groan and complain about all the hard work before you smarten up and say “Thank you, Universe, for being so generous with your sublime wisdom…”

And then you sit with your head between your knees waiting for the dizziness to subside.

Ow.

The only part I can share with you now—the only part that lends itself to words, though I’ve got the rest down in rainbow marker doodles in my notebook—is this: “Stop selling. Start helping.”

The thing is, I think selling is fine. There’s nothing wrong with making a living—there’s a lot right about making a living. Being able to support yourself doing what you love is essential for those of us who intend positive changes in the world around us. Hell, it often makes the difference between being able to make those changes and just dreaming about them! But making good things happen can be a weird, winding path. And sometimes the way isn’t clear. Sometimes you just have to listen to your impulses.

Sometimes your gut says crazy things, and sometimes it says things that make perfect sense. In this case, I can’t ignore it. I don’t completely understand the options here, but I seem to know which way to walk.

It’s just that it’s scary, and I know you know all about it. I’ve been rolling without a safety net for almost a year now and there’s a (rather large) part of me that just wants all the money to show up already. You know what that feels like. It’s difficult to do anything but follow the cash; it’s difficult to pull yourself away down the path you’re meant to take when the path with the little baby money plants with the sprouting dollar bills just looks so easy. Oooh, there’s my rent payment, you’re thinking. There’s the electric bill. Ooh! There’s next week’s groceries! That’s the path I need! Right? Right? That’s it, isn’t it?

It’s not.

Your gut is telling you it’s not.

The money plants don’t stand the test of time, and their path doesn’t have heart. They don’t bear fruit for long. They won’t make you happy—no matter how good they look now. So you have to decide—I have to decide—what I really want. What is meaningful to me. What brings me joy. What makes an impact. What takes me forward in the direction I really want to go, deep down in the soul of me, what draws me forward with more than just the urge to pay my bills. With the urge to…

Well, I think you know the rest. It’s that really important thing. The light. The Point.

Anyway…

We are so overdue for the next Idea Free-For-All.

What do you say, guys? Monday?

What do you need help with?

I read last week on Boing Boing about Javanese batikers who aren’t interested in copyrighting their work. What? They don’t want exclusive protection for their intellectual property? Whyever would someone do that?

I think I have some idea.

Traditional copyright often seems to be all about money these days. It might be about other things, too—but wow, it is sometimes hard to see anything else through the fog of money. I think money is awesome, personally. But it is not a substitute for real life, or living in the world. It’s not a substitute for the exchange of energy that occurs when someone makes something beautiful or helps someone else solve a problem. It’s not a substitute for human connection or meaningful work.

Besides the fact that you can make money doing what you love without necessarily having to protect it with exclusive copyright (which I believe, unequivocally), there’s a separate point here about doing what you love because you love it—not for the rewards, which can be wonderful, but for the experience, which is beyond price.

You can line this up with any number of specific explanations of why you do what you do. The batikers call it gratitude for God’s work. Burners call it radical self-expression. Tolle calls it being in the Now. If you like cliches, you know that it’s all about enjoying the journey, rather than aching for the destination.

It’s why many coaches and gurus ask this question: If you didn’t need the money, what work would you do?

That’s because the work isn’t about the money, and can’t be about the money if you’re going to succeed. We talked about it in the Tribes Q&A ebook, too:

Selling goods (such as concert tickets, albums, or T-shirts) is NOT what makes you a living. Connecting people and giving them a place in the world IS. There is a huge difference between focusing on one and focusing on the other. Making a living—making money—is only a pleasant side effect of doing this right. But it is a side effect that happens all the time.

We do what we do because we want to make a difference. We want to be happy; we want to make someone else happy. We want to create something from nothing. We want to have quality and meaning in our lives. It’s not about how much we can manage to get paid to do it. It’s about making sure that we can do it.

That’s the only reason money enters into the equation. It’s an exchange of energy and value, that’s all.

Oh yeah, and one other thing…

I decided that for the foreseeable future all Idea Blueprint Girl consulting calls scheduled on Fridays will only cost half of what they normally do. I want to make sure that someone who wants to work with me doesn’t have to reject the idea out of hand because of the cost—and this will help. If you can’t afford my rates, that’s your day. (I might change the day later—but for now, it’s Fridays.)

I’ll schedule as many calls as I can on those days without completely exhausting myself, so if that thrills the bejeezus out of you, grab a slot.

So what if you have no money?

That’s okay too. Tomorrow morning I’m going to open the first Idea Free-For-All thread at That Idea Blueprint Girl, and it will stay open all day. Once it’s up, you’ll be able to find it on this page. If you have projects to cook up and problems to solve and want to do some ideastorming, stop by and share your questions—we’ll find solutions for you.

See? No exclusive copyright, no exchange of cash. Works just fine!

At some indeterminate point in the last few years, I began to feel emotions much more strongly than I used to. Most of the time, they’re normal. But more and more, they rise like a tide, or hit me like a wave. (WHACK! Broadsides me.)

The really amazing ones are about people. An urge to connect with someone—to get to know them better, to find out what makes them who they are. A realization or an epiphany, like suddenly understanding something that hadn’t occurred to me before. Or last night, in the car, when I had this flash of insight: Em and I are both doing what means something to us. We’re doing what feels powerful and right. I thought about that from the perspective of my parents, and I thought about how many people never do that thing, in their whole lives... and I felt an overwhelming pride, that I’m part of this family, that I’m doing what I do, that I have a sister like her, and that we have parents that—for all our collective domestic flaws—raised us to be the kind of people we are. Whatever that actually means.

And that we’re only going to grow from here.

Music is a powerful emotional trigger for lots of people, but it’s gotten much bigger for me. Old music, new music. Em’s work is becoming a large part of the ongoing soundtrack of my aspirations to world domination, slowly but surely. And usually the music that moves me is about people. Connections, plans, urges, motivations. There are so many subtle pieces that fit together in complex ways, and I often feel like I can hear all of them. They all have an effect on me.

So why is this happening? There’s obviously a difference from even just a year ago. Maybe I’m growing up. It could have a lot to do with food: I’ve certainly been eating progressively better over the last several years, and I’m more solidly whole-fresh-produce now than ever. (I’ve read enough about food changing one’s perception of the universe that I think that’s a pretty good bet, right there.) I’ve also been making incredible in-roads in terms of learning about and understanding myself and other people. I’m doing things, now, that have great purpose for me, that make me feel something. And let’s not forget that I’ve been off birth control for at least a year and a half. (Hormones, anyone?) There are lots of explanations—and maybe all of them have a part in it.

Whatever the reason, it’s increasing steadily. Maybe I will be an emotional experience superhero by this time next year. The thing that bothers me, though, is that I’m not sure what to do with it. It’s fascinating (sometimes exhilarating) to experience, but other than leveraging it to motivate me to bigger and bigger pursuits (which I do), I almost feel like it’s not useable. Is that not enough? Is there something else?

There’s this part, too: I am wanting more and more connection, and I am less and less patient with my inability to communicate what I’m feeling. How do you tell someone you’re that proud of them? How do you tell someone you value them that much? Words fail me.

Maybe I just need new words…?

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I’ve been feeling really… vehement lately. Please raise your standards. You might be the pivotal factor that makes everyone else raise their standards, too. And if you’d like to hear more about that, you’ll have to watch the video! (Hint: I wear a very awesome tie, and talk about subject that really means something to me: POTENTIAL.)

Below is an image of how I started my application mind map! Markers make me happy. I made boxes for each of Seth’s questions, and put some mind maps in the boxes. (The boxes are particularly nice because they change the shape of the information I’m working with—that is incredibly brain-helpful. Text as text can get old fast!

Some happy fun marker-using tips:

• HAVE FUN! I’m serious about this part. It’s fun, it’s fun! (Anyway, that stokes your creative energies—and you’ll need ‘em!
  
• Use as many colors as possible! Don’t use black, don’t use a pencil, and don’t try to do it all in one color of ball-point pen. (Anyway, ball-point pens are seriously low-creativity. BEST IDEA: FINGERPAINTS!!)
  
• Shameless familial plug: Listen to Daydream on Autopilot while you work. Okay, this might not work for you. But it rocked for me. Their music is pretty freaking motivating. (Careful about that autoplay, though.)
  
• Highlight things! Highlighting is fun, especially if you have lots of colors. I didn’t highlight a lot of my mind map, but I went through a print-out of the Alternative MBA Squidoo lens and highlighted all the things I wanted to remember, plus added checkboxes so I could run through them before I finish up and make sure nothing got left out.
  
• Yours can be WAY better than mine. I don’t think mine is all that fantastic, but I’ve had a lot on my plate this week so I’m feeling forgiving. ;} The best mind maps are great organic beasts of information! Think about fractals and vines and tiny flowers, and you’ll have the right idea.
  
• Don’t use boxes. Yeah, go ahead, laugh. I think boxes are overrated. The shape-changing bit was awesome, but with a little more thought I might have made the whole map organic. Man, that would be cool! Don’t do it the way I did it. :D
  

That’s all for now!

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