Everything is more important than the gym.

Apparently.

I have a bad habit. I don’t want to call it a bad habit, because I don’t feel like I’m doing it on purpose. I feel like it’s happening the way it’s happening. But the bare fact of the matter is that I do have control over whether I schedule gym time. For instance: If I shut down my evening to work concerns, that’s that. Some things will definitely wait until later that night, or the next day. Most things, actually, will wait.

But in lots of cases, I don’t want them to. I want to take care of them now. I want to do something quickly and competently so that my clients feel good about depending on me.

So I reschedule the gym.

Likewise, a personal project can be rescheduled. Real people are compassionate and understanding. Most things can wait just a little longer for my attention.

But I don’t want them to. I want them finished and caught up on my radar. I want them solid in my head. I want to feel good about them.

So I reschedule the gym.

I suppose this means we have a really important question to answer. Why is the gym less important than all these things? The gym means feeling good and being healthy. Right now, the gym doesn’t even mean spending money. It means spending time with good friends and doing things that are good for me, that will make everything else I do better.

Maybe it’s less important because I feel like I can acquire the same results staying home with my weights and videos, or going down to the apartment treadmill for twenty minutes. And I can take less time doing it, and I can have more control over when I do it.

This would be a good answer… if I actually did those things.

I went down to the treadmill today and walked for twelve minutes, hoping that my back would stop hurting so insistently. It felt really good. But I only did it because I felt guilty… for constantly rescheduling the gym.

I’ve been aching more and more and the reason is that I keep rescheduling the gym. I don’t even care which gym, anymore. There just needs to be a gym! And trying to make tonight work, and then trying to make another day work, and then realizing that once again I had previous commitments or something too pressing to let go… it made me feel just plain rotten. Really rotten. Incredibly, definitely rotten.

My lymph nodes are ouchy. My body is probably fighting something off. That’s a good reason not to go to the gym. But… geeze. When is enough enough, you know?

Tagged as: Blog, worldhacking