I got a bit muddled this afternoon and went out on the porch with my markers to sort it out. I dribbled my brain out onto the paper for awhile, finger painting, listening to the wind and the rustling of branches and the sound of quiet Austin heat (104 degrees, to be precise). What I finally came up with was the sort of complete divine inspiration that makes you groan and complain about all the hard work before you smarten up and say “Thank you, Universe, for being so generous with your sublime wisdom…”

And then you sit with your head between your knees waiting for the dizziness to subside.

Ow.

The only part I can share with you now—the only part that lends itself to words, though I’ve got the rest down in rainbow marker doodles in my notebook—is this: “Stop selling. Start helping.”

The thing is, I think selling is fine. There’s nothing wrong with making a living—there’s a lot right about making a living. Being able to support yourself doing what you love is essential for those of us who intend positive changes in the world around us. Hell, it often makes the difference between being able to make those changes and just dreaming about them! But making good things happen can be a weird, winding path. And sometimes the way isn’t clear. Sometimes you just have to listen to your impulses.

Sometimes your gut says crazy things, and sometimes it says things that make perfect sense. In this case, I can’t ignore it. I don’t completely understand the options here, but I seem to know which way to walk.

It’s just that it’s scary, and I know you know all about it. I’ve been rolling without a safety net for almost a year now and there’s a (rather large) part of me that just wants all the money to show up already. You know what that feels like. It’s difficult to do anything but follow the cash; it’s difficult to pull yourself away down the path you’re meant to take when the path with the little baby money plants with the sprouting dollar bills just looks so easy. Oooh, there’s my rent payment, you’re thinking. There’s the electric bill. Ooh! There’s next week’s groceries! That’s the path I need! Right? Right? That’s it, isn’t it?

It’s not.

Your gut is telling you it’s not.

The money plants don’t stand the test of time, and their path doesn’t have heart. They don’t bear fruit for long. They won’t make you happy—no matter how good they look now. So you have to decide—I have to decide—what I really want. What is meaningful to me. What brings me joy. What makes an impact. What takes me forward in the direction I really want to go, deep down in the soul of me, what draws me forward with more than just the urge to pay my bills. With the urge to…

Well, I think you know the rest. It’s that really important thing. The light. The Point.

Anyway…

We are so overdue for the next Idea Free-For-All.

What do you say, guys? Monday?

What do you need help with?

Pace has written an incredible, incredible post about transitions—gender transitions, and entrepreneurship transitions. Her story is touching and amazing, and is a mind-blowing perspective on the kind of strength and determination it takes to make a life-altering change. Either of her topics are substantial, to say the very least. Her comparisons—from my point of view—are 100% spot-on, and the parallels are amazing.

Entrepreneurship and gender transition are crash courses in fear-facing. Your issues will come up. Your landmines will be stepped on. Your triggers will be triggered. Each of these disasters is an opportunity for growth. (”Another fucking opportunity for growth”, as my friend Reesa says.) If you can maintain a positive attitude even through the toughest challenges, if each time you fall down you learn a little more about how to get back up, then your self-work will eventually manifest in outward success.

I am grateful to have been reminded of so many overwhelmingly important things. This post really moved me. Please take a few minutes to read it.