This is just a smattering of Social Work prn posts that have gone up in the last month or so. Enjoy. ;}

Social Work and the Power of Belief
My usual routine, most Tuesdays and Thursdays, is to wake up at 5:30. I stumble through finding clothes and brushing my teeth, grab some small breakfast, take my vitamins, pin up my hair and go to the gym where I CrossFit five days a week. When I get done, I’m woozy and exhausted—but by the time I get home I’m starting to get my brain and my energy back. I wash the grit off my hands and sit down at my computer—still relatively filthy from the mats—and post my Social NetWorker entry for the morning. (Read more…)

Hunting That Elusive Internal Motivation
I’ve told you about CrossFit, and I’ve told you about my sometimes-favorite strategy for personal change (that is, gettin’ coached!). There were great allegories for social work there, but there’s an obvious and important aspect that I didn’t mention: The coach can’t always be there. (Read more…)

Authenticity and Better Business in Social Work
I learned early on that in order to be a good businessperson, I had to pretend to be someone other than myself. I had to pretend to be “big business”—or at least “bigger business”. I had to stay aloof and withdrawn from my clients, so they would know I was “professional”. I had to use words like “we” and “us” to talk about my company (even though I was a one-man band, back then). And no personality—not in the business world! I had to be slick and sere and professional at all junctures. At networking functions, I had to have a canned approach (as a response to everyone else’s canned approach) and there wasn’t going to be any of this banter about issues unrelated to business. (Read more…)

Mental Clarity and the Power of Now
I’m four or five chapters into Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now, a book that seems to have temporarily rescued me from myself. Ever get that voice going in your head? The one that won’t shut up? (Note: I do realize that I’m writing about the voices I hear in my head to an array of mental health professionals. No, this does not bother me. Well, at least until I hit “publish”...!) (Read more…)

The Social Work “In”: Create a Positive Environment for Ideas
When you’re running a business, you want lots of ideas. Every new idea is an alternative option you can take advantage of to make everything better, so the more options, the better. You want to create a positive environment for new ideas and you want to engender a mindset in yourself that takes advantage of new ideas when they float through your head—instead of rejecting them without really thinking about them. I think many of us are actually conditioned to this kind of instant rejection. We’re so used to our lives as they are, we often fail to notice subtle opportunities to change our lives dramatically because we’re simply not expecting to see them. (Read more…)

Fear, Listening and Opportunity in Social Work
I was inspired to riff on Bob’s post yesterday when I read the following: “One of the most common reasons is that they don’t want people to talk about them because they are afraid of what they might hear.” He’s right, folks—it is too late. Everyone you make an impression on (good or bad!) has an opinion of you that they’re reasonably likely to share whether you see them do it or not. The great part of this is that you, as social workers, and every individual and company under the sun have the resource you need to change all your word of mouth for the better: Your Ability To Listen. (Read more…)

In the process of settling my profile page at Todd McCaffrey’s new BigEep world-changing community, I read over my personal information and realized that suddenly, after all this time, SF/Fantasy cons look out of place. Surrounded by so many pastimes that are more meaningful to me, it seems almost like I should take SF/Fantasy cons and put it somewhere else—maybe somewhere that includes the TV shows I like, or the board games I play with friends. But I knew after just a few moments of thinking about it that I wasn’t going to move it. And this past Aggiecon in College Station is why.

Ever since Marty and I altered the fundamental nature of our situation and he quit his day job, I have noticed a new effect that he has on people—especially people at cons. They take notice of him because when he’s sitting at a table piled high with his artwork, it’s very obvious that he’s doing what he loves. Passersby inevitably ask if this is what he does for a living—or if he has another job paying the bills. When he says yes, this is his full-time job, the wheels start turning in their heads. I can see it. Something starts to change them.

I never had this effect on people at conventions because it was never particularly apparent that I was supporting myself doing whatever the hell I wanted. Even if it had been, there is nothing so visual as sitting at a vendor table hawking your own gory, colorful, detail-rich creations. Having partnered with Marty, I suddenly had a way of affecting people that I hadn’t considered. I didn’t have to tell them anything. I only had to help Marty be who he was naturally, do what he was meant to do, and these people came to him, saw what he was doing, and it changed them.

Blew. My. Mind.

At Aggiecon this year, the effect was pronounced. Several of our new friends had that look on their faces when they came by to chat. These were people who craved something special for themselves and didn’t know how to get it. I found myself in a position to be encouraging, maybe even a little insistent. There is a way to make your life what you want it to be. There is a way to change things to make yourself happy. It’s hard and it’s work, but there is nothing in the world more worth it if only you can give it a chance. I didn’t have a plan at Aggiecon—I didn’t know that I would be faced with such incredible opportunities to help other people. I handed out a few of Naomi’s cards, thinking at the time, I think, about the SpeakEasy (before it had closed its doors). I wasn’t sure what else I could do but be positive, tell them it was possible, tell them people cared and they could get help making the changes they wanted to make.

Now, I think I might have a plan. I don’t intend to let any more of those opportunities pass me by.

But obviously SF/Fantasy cons needs to stay in my profile, along with all the other meaningful work I want to do. It’s amazing how the elements of our lives can stay the same, but somehow become completely different—and better all the time.

Regular posts will be returning soon. Thank you to everyone who’s sent me a sweet email or IM or Tweet instructing me to get back on the freaking job. I have been working my ASS off, I’m almost ready for things to go back to normal (read: get really crazy in a brand new way), and I really appreciate the warm thoughts. Keep your shoes on. Storm’s a-comin’!

I have been very receptive, lately, to the concept of people who care. I have been noticing now more than ever that although many (most?) people in their business and personal lives may in fact care, not all of them show it. There are a lot of reasons this might be, but it doesn’t mitigate the fact that those they interact with are strongly affected by the appearance of caring (or not).

My very latest, thoughtful, examples:

• The apartment complex manager who listens kindly to your situation and shows that he cares, even when it turns out to be a problem he can’t (or even won’t) solve.
• The web hosting support dude who takes a minute to suggest a solution to your problem, rather than shutting you down because the problem isn’t with the server.
• The neighbor who stops by to ask if their music is too loud, and makes sure you’re aware that they don’t mind you calling or stopping by to let them know.

I honestly can’t understand why you wouldn’t give your customer the impression that you care—the person who rents one of your apartments, the one who shops in your store, the one you see every day, and-AND the person you only meet once, who just might have an unsuspected impact on your life and work. Everyone has bad days, but what is the harm or unreasonable effort in being good-natured and compassionate?

I’m tired today. I’m grumpy. I dumped chocolate protein shake all over my new dress, and I couldn’t wear it like I planned. My house is a mess. It’s too freaking hot outside. I’m annoyed.

Grrrrrrrrr.

Oh yeah, okay. So what?

Are you really going to use those excuses to ruin everyone else’s time, too? Distance yourself from friends? Alienate strangers? Kill traffic to your business?

Really?

I mean, I dumped chocolate protein shake on my new dress this morning, and I’m still cheery as a shiny button. Unless I’m pretending. ;}

Today Bob Poole launched his wonderful sales and marketing book, Listen First – Sell Later.

I love this book.

This is the project I spent so much time focused on editing in February, and I have been incredibly impressed with the content and usefulness and heart of Bob’s writing. I am proud to have been a part of it, and I hope he sells just zillions of copies. If you have an interest in sales, marketing, being a real person who cares about the people around you and/or running a business that cultivates relationships with its customers, I strongly suggest you read it. I’m not the only one, either—some very neat folks weighed in (including Seth Godin). Check out the blurbs on the back of the book.

Pace wrote a great review with a ton of book snippets, and you’re welcome to read my last post (How to Inspire Your Editor, Get a Post Written About Your New Book, and Be Just Plain GREAT With People) if you want to know more about the kind of awesome person Bob Poole is.

Right now if you buy a copy (and probably not forever!), Bob is offering to send a free copy to a friend of yours. All you have to do is forward him the receipt once you’ve ordered and give him shipping information. Here’s everything you need to know.

For real: Buy it from Bob, buy it from Amazon, buy it from the Squidoo lens that supports Acumen Fund (my personal favorite), just buy the book. It will make your life and your work and your relationships with other people better. In the short time since I worked on the editing, it has surely done so with mine.

Last month, I finished a job editing a book.

I know! A freaking book!

It was an awesome book. It was all about listening and building real trust and relationships in business. Of course, nothing’s ever just about business (and neither was this book). It was an incredible resource in terms of great ideas, practical steps and case studies that really make you think about business building, sales, marketing, and people. (I love people. You know how I love people!)

And there were moments during the editing process where I was absorbing so much great material, I felt like I was getting paid to learn. (If you ever want to really ingrain some information, get yourself an editing job!) This book was very worth learning, and it was written by Bob Poole.

If you’ve been paying any attention, you know that Bob Poole is pretty damn nifty.

I first met him on Triiibes, and over the course of the next six months came across him during the work on the Tribes Q&A ebook, my bid for Seth’s Alternative MBA program in NY, and soon after, when he asked me to do some consulting… and this editing work. (He had to convince me to do it, because I’d never really, professionally considered myself an editor. Man, am I glad he did!)

Bob’s way of interacting with people is impactful. In my case, it makes me want to do great work for him; it makes me want to impress him. This is a particularly strong feeling, and I haven’t felt it very often (in fact I can only think of one other person, off the top of my head, who’s struck me quite this way). It seems to happen most when I’m dealing with people I feel undeniably valued by.

Whatever it is Bob does, he does it well. It’s a lesson in dealing with people, prospects, clients, employees—and everybody else. They will work hard for you if they know you appreciate and respect them. They will work harder for you than anyone else.

I don’t think a lot of people get this (even when they think they do), but Bob clearly does. It means that any work with him is sure to be delightful, and it meant that I worked my ass off editing his book.

The title is Listen First—Sell Later. It’s fantastic. Seth Godin wrote a blurb for the cover. (See?) It will be officially published and available in just a few weeks. The title alone should clue you in; this is what Bob’s all about.

If you want to know what the hell Bob does, why and how he does it (and learn a lot about sales and marketing in the process), well, you can read it yourself—but not for another few weeks. Please get crazy excited and send lots and lots of link traffic here so that everyone else can get excited too. Please do not actually hold your breath until the book is available unless you really can go without oxygen for more than a week. Because, dude. Come on.

(Also, I don’t think asphyxiated people buy books.)

You can bet I’ll be letting you know when you can pick up a copy. And in the meantime, you can go read Bob’s post from yesterday. Because of the awesome.

Update 2009-04-15: Bob made a post about his book today! Go take a look!

Update 2009-05-06: Bob launched his book today, and it’s available nigh-instantaneously from Amazon. Plus, if you buy one copy he’ll send a second for a friend (those instructions are here)! He’s doing this for a limited number of purchases, so go grab yours and forward your receipt along now while you’re thinkin’ about it!

Two years ago I attended SXSW Interactive for the very first time, and I liveblogged the hell out of it. I had a great time, met some nifty people, but at the same time, I was by myself most of the convention. I didn’t know anyone else who’d be interested—or rather, anybody who was interested and attending.

So I got myself on the bus every morning and hauled my laptop downtown for the day, typed like a madwoman, learned a ton of awesome things, and generally had a lovely (and very hardcore) time.

THIS YEAR, I get convention buddies! Not only is Marty joining me at SXSW this year (oh man, I cannot tell you in how many ways THAT promises to be interesting), but Pace and Kyeli, the really-truly mavens of awesome communication, will be there too—and I have a ton of people I want to meet and/or connect with, like Chris Allison, for instance, who was one of my fellow final interviewees for Seth’s Alternative MBA program in New York, and Naomi Dunford, who is queen of small business fu in far more ways than I can enumerate to you in a single blog post, and Violet Blue, who has long been my favorite sexuality expert and righteous porn blogger, and Havi Brooks, who I missed in Austin before (curse you, birthday!) but don’t intend to miss meeting again. Not to mention a slew of others who I’ve been in touch with, or have no idea who I am, etc. ;}

All in all, I suspect we’ll have a grand time… so if you’re going to be in town, tweet me @worldmegan or call me (512-364-0045) or email me, or just walk up and say hi. Really!

And yeah… I’ll probably be liveblogging. A little. (Brace yourself!) ;}

What are YOU doing this weekend?

I started Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers recently. I read it out of the book sometimes, and listen to the audiobook sometimes, like I did with Made to Stick. It’s pretty leisurely as absorption goes, but it’s enjoyable. Plenty of spaces between lines to think a little.

So I’ve been thinking.

Since I’m still early on in the book, I’ve been musing a lot about school. I was crap in school. I didn’t fail things (much) but I generally managed grades just good enough to scrape by. “Good grades” was not a worthy adversary.

Before college, I wrote stories and drew pictures. A new friend in middle school had introduced me to the idea of making comic books, and I was down with that. I could create whatever I wanted. They never saw the light of day, but they were my primary pursuit. The only really interesting thing around!

In college, I started to become aware that my family had money problems, and they started to affect me more dramatically than they’d used to—anyway, that’s what the memory feels like. I knew more about them in college, and I was more aware of a particularly cogent, familial financial climate. I can’t remember what I was driven by when I started learning about the internet and thinking about “running a business”. I could tell you that it was about bringing in more money for the family unit (that is what it turned into), but I don’t know how it started. I just don’t remember.

I think it was that I noticed something that felt worthy of doing. So I did it.

I don’t know where Gladwell is going with this book, but I know it’s making me wonder about myself. I can feel those tiny impulses—you have them, too—every moment I scan a sentence or parse a spoken phrase. These are impulses to find in the outside world proof that I am relevant.

Something that tells me for sure that I’m good enough.

My IQ is high. At least, it was when I was little—in the last fifteen years I’ve a) had a strange sensation that suggests it’s oozing downward along my spine and b) discovered that IQ truly doesn’t matter as much as I was originally taught. I know that I’m creative, and I clearly can do really nifty things. (Otherwise, I’m not sure how I’ve gone this long without a “job”. It’s been at least five years, technically... How have I been paying the rent, again?)

But I’m still looking for validation. I know we all are. I’m looking for a sign from the universe that I’m doing the Right Thing. That the path I want can really be reached from the path I’m on. And so the strange uneasy feeling engendered by the first few chapters of Gladwell’s book, I think, is a result of me wanting him to say what I want to hear.

You know. As if he might know!

I have a lot of things that are supposed to mean something. The IQ thing. Test scores, percentiles. Taught myself to read, ostensibly. Whatever else. But none of this really means anything. The sheer non-issue of my mediocre grades in school should prove that. I feel good about hearing that none of it really means anything past a certain point. I am down with that. But if he’s going to say that those things don’t count, what does?

And is it going to be something I can get my hands on?

Have you ever had this feeling?

I’m done with my planes for the day, and the word is in: I’m free for brilliant things in the next six months! (In unambiguous terms, no, I didn’t get chosen for the !MBA. And that’s completely okay.)

We made a huge effort (and it did not go unnoticed). I am so, so grateful to all of you. I had no idea we would get as far as we did, and I’m proud of myself too. I was a real warrior the last few weeks, I don’t mind saying! And I’m really touched that there was such an outpouring of enthusiasm about the possibility of me going—so much that I actually DID the whole fund raising thing, mixed feelings or no. It’s hard to ignore that many vehement emails. When I look back and consider that, it is a teeny bit astonishing and mind-bendingly awesome.

If you offered me your support—pledges, donations, anything—you’ll be hearing from me pretty soon. We have some things to iron out! After that, it’s time to start thinking about what happens next, and to top this it’s going to need to be pretty damn awesome. (I’m not worried.)

Thank you, guys. You propelled me through an incredibly intense period of self-discovery, and I won’t forget it.

[Update: Brendan Mitchell said something that made me realize… my title would be a great intentional pun if I had gotten in! My brain sure is doing funny loop-the-loops—sorry if that confused anyone. I didn’t even notice it before. What a riot!]

I have had the most insanely amazing day, I can’t even process it properly—at least until I get a nap, or some food. New York is amazing, the people here are amazing, people on the street will smile back if you smile first, just TRY it!

I am quite behind on the blogging I meant to do, so I’ll put this out there: If there’s something you were looking forward to hearing me yammer about, poke me about it and I’ll make sure it gets up sometime soon.

I can’t tell you much about the !MBA meet at Seth’s office… but I’ll tell you this. That was more awesome people than I’ve seen stuffed into one room in… a really long time. Possibly ever. (I’m thinking. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything that comes close.)

I can also tell you that I have a very limited amount of time to come up with the remaining pre-paid work that would allow me to go. And that my brain is so fried after today that I’m having trouble figuring out how to move forward, tight deadlines and all. So I’m going to list what I know, and you can tell me what you think.

* I am in fact happy to accept work in smaller chunks. I’m even happy to accept pledges of monthly installments (especially if I can do work for you when I get back in August), so let me know what you WANT to do and we’ll find a way to make it work. (I hit $8000 in the last few hours—that’s more than a third of what I need!) This may not have been clear from my original copy, for which I’m saying Der! and redrafting.

• I’m pretty sure I need a mailing list. Email me if you want to be on it—I’ll use it for quick updates on my situation and last-minute requests for advice or assistance. (I still love you a LOT even if you don’t want to be on this list.)
• Advice for Megans: I may send out a few emails to help me clear my head. If you feel like helping me clear my head, feel free to email me first. ;}

Growing is uncomfortable. I am uncomfortable! But how could I possibly trade this experience? Uncle Henry’s Empire State Building, the amazing cityscape view from my aunt’s apartment, half-second connections with happy people on sidewalks, friendly construction workers, brilliant vegan restaurants, that great crowd of sharp minds this morning, and then I walked out of Grand Central Station and it was snowing, all those buildings and the sky and the people and the vibration of this crazy fantastic place, what a thing someone built by coming here and deciding it should be something! What a great brilliant beast this city is.

Holy. Cow. Guys.

Time to regroup, and get my brain back. Here goes…

I’ve been thinking a lot about this.

I don’t like “fund raising”. I don’t like asking for something without giving something—or more—in return. (As you might have gathered.) I don’t like the obnoxious overtones it often takes on—even when obnoxious overtones are being specifically avoided!) and I don’t like what it does to people. It sometimes disconnects them, gives them guilt, and it’s hard to steer clear of those things even with the best of intentions. Maybe someday I’ll have perfected the formula, but that day is a long time coming.

The positive side of it is the part that trips me up. (It’s easy to stop doing something with no upside.) I’m pretty thoroughly certain that I can do great things for great people, if I can just find the people who want the opportunity. Second-guessing the urge to fund raise—and no, I haven’t thought of a better term for it, but please feel free to suggest—means not only closing a door for me, but closing windows for potentially dozens of other people. People who could use those windows.

It’s just that I’m not willing to go too far to find those people. I’m not willing to engage in tactics that would alienate half my audience and guilt the rest into putting a dollar in the pot. It’s just not worth the ugh feeling, all around.

This may mean that I’ll have to create another opportunity elsewhere and make this my big trip to New York, but I won’t budge on it. It’s too important. So the question is… what do I need to do to go as far as I can, responsibly, consciously? And maybe succeed?

That’s a damn good question.