It’s time for the Usual Error Intensive, week five! Are you excited?? Omg are you excited?? I’m excited! It is time for my Usual Error liveblogging extravaganza! Keep reloading, friends and neighbors! Can I get a few more exclamation points, please?!

If you’d like to see my previous posts on Positivity, I’ll list them here:

• Positivity (Preview)
• Positivity (Part One!)
• Positivity (Part Two!)
• Positivity (Part Three!)
• Positivity and the Usual Error

Our One Bullet Point For the Evening! (9:25 PM)

• Is…. ???

(We’re going to talk about Positivity now, or Pace will explode. – K)

...That makes me really happy!! (9:32 PM)

• Try saying this on purpose. Just try it. “It’s the amygdala counter-balance!” – P
• The amygdala is the “Oh shit oh shit oh shit!” part of the brain. (I think my mother uses her amygdala a lot. Also? I bet YOU use your amygdala a lot!)
• However, there are no longer tigers in our grocery stores. (Er?) We’re a bit over-balanced in that sense, Oh shit oh shit oh shit! Pointing out the positive balances us out!
• Subversive Happiness (Marty): Your close friends mimic your communication style and if you say “That makes me really happy!” all the time, they might pick it up without even realizing it—and it will help them without really realizing it! (Megan)

Rephrasing things positively—omg, second bullet point. What!? (9:43 PM)

• Pace is so awesome covering this topic, she gets so excited! I love it!
• Our words may be used for good or eeeeevil, and this all started with the word ‘should’.
• (I actually wrote a huge post on obligation that touched on this a lot.)
• We create obligations where none are necessary, or even useful! (P)
• Slaying words slays concepts. Ha! This is a dangerous undertaking. I know I’ve thought about that before, but it really hit me just now. We have incredible power in this sense. 1984, for heaven’s sake! But used with awareness and sensitivity, it can be an amazing tool.
• We discussed for awhile the way we often feel obligated to lie in culturally acceptable ways (“I have plans, or I can’t” versus “I don’t really feel like it”)—but it doesn’t serve us, it isn’t actually as useful as we might think. Some “obligations” are very questionable.
• Holy cow I am sniffly tonight. Mrr!
• In response to my “dangerous undertaking” comment, Nathan is talking about how Buddhism emphasizes “right thought” and “right speech” deliberately to groom your speech and the world around you. THIS is really interesting!
• When you are doing this, you are changing the world. (S, via P)
• If we eliminate a word from our vocabulary, it may lead to the elimination of that concept which actually has the potential of changing the world. (More S via P, I think.)
• “This function should return an integer.” (P) This is SO funny.
• You want the end result so you choose to go through the awful middle—re: disconnect between “wanting to do” something and “having to do” something.
• In a way—this is so weird—we are simplifying the food chain of personal motivations, almost in the same way I am starting to want to simplify the food chain of the nutrition I consume. This feels better, it feels more honest, it feels more real, it feels less buried… to me.

We have discussed the victim mentality, as a result of some things we talked about in check-in, and as a result of some of the obligation explanations—for instance, I “should” feel this way, etc. This is very interesting to me (especially since I spent all day feeling like the universe was sitting on my head, squish).

Kyeli: “They are society and they are allowed to tell us how we should feel.”
Megan: “Blah blah blah blah blah!”

Let’s talk about the future! (10:06 PM)

• We want to go ahead and have tonight be the last of this run. This has been a very interesting experiment in that we did not strictly cover our material but covered incredible permutations of the material. We are talking about possibly continuing Usual Error runs after the New Year, in order to give us time for holidays, etc.
• The next thing we’ll do is a Usual Error run that does not include check-ins, that will cover (more or less strictly) the material we meant to cover this run. (I think that is awesome and really
• The first rule of Check-In Club is that you don’t talk about Check-In Club except during your check-in. (Nathan, hahahaha!)

Yes… the rumors are true. Marty and I missed week four of the Usual Error Intensive.

On Friday we had just about destroyed ourselves with working and running errands, and by six o’ clock I felt like pancake road kill. But fear not, gentle readers—though I do not have delicious liveblogging goodness for you, I will link you to the material they covered as discussed previously. Hopefully this will hold you over (and keep me from the rout) until next session: The Usual Error: Conflict Resolution!

This particular session has some really interesting offshoot material that I am thinking of covering over at Virtual Magpie in one form or another—conflict resolution perhaps being more obviously connected to business than the other topics covered by the Usual Error (maaaybe). I am hoping to get more word on Friday’s session soon, and if I get anything particularly juicy or interesting, I will post it here. Now, if only I can manage to survive another two weeks until Number Five…

Whew: 9:06 PM! I got my computer out late this week because it’s been a busy evening—my vegetables from Greenling got delivered late so I ended up ducking out for the middle of check-in and dashing back to the apartment to get everything into the fridge before it went bad! But everything’s all right now, and we’re about to get started with Boundaries!

If you’re not already familiar with this material, I posted it in three parts the last time it was covered: Part One, Part Two, Part Three. Take a look, or read concurrently as I liveblog tonight. Marty and I will probably stay till ten-thirty, especially since I had to leave earlier!

Here we go!

Being a Big Girl (or a Big Boy)! (9:17 PM)

• Having healthy boundaries is awesome!
• “Nature seeks a balance.” (Andrea is brilliant.)
• If you have unhealthy boundaries in one direction, you will find yourself amidst many people with unhealthy boundaries in the other direction. Interesting and alarmingly on-target!
• But it makes sense—those people aren’t comfortable without your unhealthy boundaries to balance out your unhealthy boundaries: their only option is to healthify their boundaries, or drift away.
• Grokkage! Kyeli keeps going—“HEY!!” She is pleased.
• The results of healthy boundary adjustments can be incredible. We’re all rattling off stories about how unbelievable it is to establish our healthy boundaries and see the amazing effects of that on our social structure.
• Treat people well—treat yourself well—things are fine. (An)
• “It’s denying others the choice to have healthy boundaries.” (P) Re: Choosing to have unhealthy boundaries. You are the one who is limiting them. Whoa.
• It’s like taking all the responsibility for the project when you’re convinced everyone else is going to fuck it up—but whether it’s justified or not, you are still taking away the opportunity for them to learn and grow by being accountable. (Marty)
• There are situations where you’re stuck with a certain person or group of people—in those situations nature cannot find its ideal balance, you’re stuck with those people. But in more natural situations (where you’re not “stuck” with someone), nature will find its own balance. In this case, one of two things happens: Either the island person will come out and meet you, or they will go away. These situations are artificial and we can do things to make them suck less, but we can’t really fix them.
• Kyeli: I don’t like being an island. Can I have a hug?
• You can have healthy boundaries, but if you don’t communicate them clearly, it doesn’t matter. Ha!
• Often the communication of boundaries is dependent on the ability to transcend communication styles.
• One of the worst things you can do to a child is to protect him from the consequences of his actions. Taking away a person’s power to make good choices keeps them from learning how to make good choices.
• It feels like we’re doing them a favor, but we’re really not. (P)

Fierceness. RAWR! (9:40 PM)

• Marty is now rubbing my feet. Wow. Liveblogging is awesome.
• Pace is saying ‘boxes’, but many of us are, inexplicably, hearing ‘foxes’. I can’t help but feel that Marty should draw the Peaceful Fox and the Violent Fox…
• “Well you know what I say?! I say that’s BULLSHIT!” (P)
• Cat boundaries! Standing up for yourself, being fierce, is having healthy boundaries. Violence is pre-emptively attacking with intent to harm.
• Some cats do that. (Am)
• We’re talking about well-balanced cats. (P)
• B is talking about the idea that people can’t really live in either of those boxes (foxes), and so maybe tend to bounce back and forth.
• Personally I’ve noticed a flux between overlarge boundaries and overtight boundaries—the one ricochets you into the other. This is a universal theme, actually…
• N: You must conform to the median level of non-conformity. (N constantly says brilliant things that I can’t properly convey while liveblogging.)
• N in clarification to R: You can’t tell the truths that are offensive to your circle.
• The more you can say without actually saying anything, the better. (Marty) The more inane, stupid shit that you can come up with, without talking about anything of any consequence, the better off you are. If you start talking about important things, or something that matters, you’re going to piss somebody off.
• Women have something similar (they were talking about men) – and it tends to be snark.
• I don’t know any of this so much, I guess I hang out with the wrong folks…
• “Go into downward dog maggots!” (P, taking a cue from R) Re: the stress you can’t show in the workplace.
• Marty just went into the kitchen and returned with a second Mountain Dew. Hmmm…
• There are a whole bunch of social conventions and institutions that reinforce this Myth of the Two Boxes, which discourage fierceness and healthy boundaries. (P)
• What if you didn’t take all the shit you think you have to take?
• If you react fiercely, many people have no idea how to respond—because they expect you to fall into one of two categories, and this is a new one.
• Stealth Fierceness, by N: DUDE. This is awesome. I wish I had time to parse this into text. Re: Different groups having different ideas of what each box contains, and this resulting in interesting interactions. Also, trying to change perceptions for that group of what the boundaries are. You don’t have to make a big deal about it. Huh. “Yay mind control!” (N)
• An: Both boxes are about compliance. Huh. You’re acceptable. You’re never YOU.
• You can respect and trust people who are fierce, because they are who they are all the time.
• (10:05 PM) It’s pretty late, so we’re going to cover the rest of fierceness and wrap up. We have plans to extend the weekly / monthly length of the Usual Error Intensive to cover all this material—extra sessions at the end, which is awesome.
• There is a fear of fierceness—a fear of what might happen. It can be very difficult to overcome. And that is TOTALLY okay. B says: Figuring out what your boundaries are, what you’re comfortable with, ahead of time, can really help you get perspective on these fears.
• We skim over topics so quickly, that I find myself wondering what else C was going to say. I would like to find out.
• We have training to go into the peaceful box, so it’s no wonder it’s so hard and scary to learn how to be fierce! We’re trained just to be obedient from the time we’re children, and it doesn’t stop.

And now it’s 10:14 PM. At this point I’m about ready to head home—a little bit itchy and worried about my allergies coming on, wanting to get into the shower and then into bed. This is really an awesome group, though. Really incredible. This material brings out amazing things in people, things I’ve never seen and really appreciate.

I’m going to wrap up—more UE in two weeks when we have our fourth session!

It’s time for the second evening of Usual Error Intensive! My hands are aching a bit this week, so I can’t promise my liveblogging will be as intense as last time, but I’ll do my best to catch pertinent bits. ;}

In fact, those of you already familiar with this material will be able to follow this most effectively. Tonight we’re covering Turning Conflict into Communication (Part One, Part Two), so if you take a look at my post from last time this material was covered, you may be able to follow along more easily.

Check-in was really enjoyable. Many of us got out things we needed to get out, and others of us did it in an incredibly entertaining way. It was really healthy and wonderful!

HALT - Hungry, Angry, Loopy, Tired (9:17 PM)

• “When you’re lonely, what you need is communication.” (K) Re: Lonely vs. loopy as the “L”.
• Apparently it’s AA who advocates no communication when “lonely”, which is interesting to me, because I have a lot to say about the way AA does things. Not everything I have to say is positive…
• Taking a break when you’re really emotionally wonky is good.
• “These are all ways that we can try to have useful communication instead of un-useful communication!” (P)

Whoa! We’re on the same team! (9:24 PM)

• “It’s not me versus you; it’s me and you together against the problem.” (P)
• I forgot to take my allergy meds tonight, so I’m a bit sniffly. Sniffle! Onward…
• “I’ve used it on my mom.” (K) Hey—I should use it on my mom! I’m on the same team as my mom!
• “People in conflict usually are on the same team. [...] And don’t realize it!” (S)
• “I would try asking the other person what they want. What are your goals?” (P) Re: Identifying exactly how you can be on the same team—you’d be surprised at how often we are really all on the same team.
• “What do you do if you’re really not on the same team?” (M) Answer: “Fight!” (Who said that? Someone said that. I am irrevocably entertained.)
• Sometimes you can be on the same general team even if you’re not on the same specific team. (K)

Define your Terms! (9:34 PM)

• We almost decided not to play the game tonight since we’re short on time, and we’re talking about possibly having another session (or two?) to cover the material we skipped over in the name of conserving time.
• Now we’re going to play a game! We say a word and everyone writes down their definition of the word. Then we read the definitions out loud, and try to guess whose definition is whose! It’s sort of Balderdash (supposedly—I’ve never played Balderdash, as far as I recall!).
• “A few. Probably 3. More than 2… less than a handful (which is 4 in a Simpsons world…)” (M) Everyone’s definitions are slightly different, and different enough to matter! Most of them hover around three—or are at least based on three. Interesting!
• “I had no idea that people had so many different definitions for it—how many of ya’ll are surprised??” (P)
• Now we have a secret term—“Dating!” This time we all write our definitions but Kyeli will read them all and we will try to guess whose each is! My definition: “A nebulous bit of terminology that thwarts everyone and serves none…” Yes. That’s really how I feel. At this particular moment. “Dating.” Ha!
• “And begin to bring your pencils to a standstill…” Kyeli says in a mild, teacher-like tone…
• This is a great game! It’s a very short game but I like the illustrativeness … illustrativity … er. Of it.
• Oh! I have played a game like this… I’m having trouble remembering the game though. I don’t think it was Balderdash… Hrm.
• “This is the fun part—we’re going to point at each other.” (K)
• The pointing is really fantastic! None of us know who to point to but we’re having a delightful time accusing one another! We feel like we have very little to go on. I think we are mostly basing our decisions on the humorous quality of the definitions matched with the comedic prowess of the participants. This amuses me!
• That time EVERYONE pointed at me, and I didn’t even hear the definition… whoops!
• I am pretty much just pointing at random people, every single time. I am not getting any useful points. (I don’t believe there are any prizes, so I don’t feel too badly about this. I’m still getting a lot out of this exercise!)
• Conor just said “Face!” Or was it “Faced!”? I’m not sure… I am fascinated by this bit of vernacular debris.
• The prize—a whopping TWO CORRECT —is a tie between Amanda and Megan! (“ME!? I was just fucking around the whole time!!” (M))
• “We chose dating because for three months, dating was the hot word in our house. We were having serious problems with the world dating!” (K)
• It’s really important to define your terms! This is one of the things that most immediately leads to arguments when neglected.

Our various definitions of “Dating”:

Making time to spend with a person with whom you share a common romantic or sexual interest. Does not adequately convey the seriousness of a relationship, & should be qualified. (Marty)

A nebulous bit of terminology that thwarts everyone but serves none… (Megan)

Spending time together with a romantic intention, at least twice, with intention of more in the future (even if it doesn’t pan out). (Amanda)

Hitting someone or something with dried-up figs.

Have admitted romantic feelings for one another, probably having sex in some form—or you’ve identified as “dating”.

The process of courtship.

We’ve seen each other more than a few times, probably several, and we like each other & have said so out loud to each other but we haven’t agreed to being boyfriend / girlfriend.

Going on dates with mutual intent of getting to know each other and possible romance.

In a romantic relationship that involves going on dates, and usually not cohabitation.

Going out of your way to spend time together when having a romantic connection. (Going out of your way = planning in advance, sacrificing time normally devoted to other activities.)

If anyone would like to publicly claim his or her definition, feel free to comment me!

Interlude, 10:10 PM: We’re going to try starting at 6:30 instead of 7 from now on to cover more material—we don’t want to nix check-in even though it takes too long. Check-in is really, really awesome. So for now we’re going to try to do a less-rushed wrap. We’re going to see what we can cover before 10:30, and then go (since many of us need to call it an early night).

Continuing Interlude, 10:14 PM: We are now talking about LiveJournal cuts. Hmm. It seems like when we get even close to wrapping up, we all sort of fall off-topic. I think we just really enjoy all talking to one another. It’s so awesome that all of us—many of us who don’t really know each other very well—are connecting inside the group really excellently. I don’t know—that’s just the feeling I have, and I really like it.

What Did You Intend? (10:15 PM)

• Many times, we don’t intend anything mean or harmful by the things we do and say. But when someone asks us “what did you intend?” we hear that as our last chance to get it right before the fall-out. But clarifying this point can often make all the difference. Back-pedalling and manufacturing a “right” answer isn’t as helpful as being very clear about your feelings.
• I am actually really sleepy and wish I were home. But I really, really like the Usual Error material and I want to stick this out for a few more minutes. We are going to let go at 10:30, and even if we’re not done by then, Marty and I will get going. And it will totally be okay.
• “Since my intention wasn’t bad, you shouldn’t feel however you’re feeling.” This is an issue that B mentioned that is… wow. A whole different ballgame! It’s great to not intend to be a jerk, but then it’s necessary to deal with the hurt feelings, too—intent isn’t the whole shebang.
• “It is very rare that any of us are trying to hurt each other.” (K)
• “The connotation is just as important, if not more, than the denotation.” (P)
• Sera is doing awesome Croc Hunter impressions. And they’re pertinent to the discussion! Awesome. Awesome.

Meta-Communication! (10:26 PM)

• Four more minutes of Usual Error Intensive—meta-communication is fabulous.
• Just having a set time-frame or pattern, or something, for those kinds of conversations, changes it from an unmanageable stress to a manageable stress. (P) Re: Frequent difficult discussions about money.
• Infrastructure is helpful. Scheduling, budgeting… support structure.
• You don’t have to have the same stressful conversation every time—one serious meta-conversation about changing the process will save you many future conversations that cover the same topic over and over and over. (P)

Wrapping up, 10:32 PM: I think it’s really entertaining that I’m getting a private comment while still liveblogging the workshop. I love that. How can I get more of that?!

We met at the Smith residence and made ourselves comfy, waited a few minutes for stragglers, and at 7:07pm (on the dot) we began the first session of the Usual Error Intensive workshop. I believe that all participants were previously familiar with the Usual Error material, as well as being an awesome group of fabulous people.

You will notice, as I go through here and re-situate my notes for easier reading, that we didn’t get through all the material for the night. There was so much discussion and excellent idea-sharing that we were sidetracked often in a pretty delightful way! But I will provide the information I have as I have it, and show you what we got through.

Explanations

About six months ago, Kyeli came up with this crazy idea: The Usual Error Intensive. The goal, they decided, was that everyone could discuss the material in an interactive fashion—instead of the Triad being the only ones to ever talk! They don’t want to be teachers, they explained; this is about experience-sharing, and facilitating conversation. (Communication! Growth! Learning!)

Check-In

Checking in is this awesome thing. It’s come from a ton of different places, but the basic idea is this: Each person takes a turn to talk about what’s on their brain, how they’re feeling right now—anything that comes to mind. Everybody else actively listens. This isn’t about repeating back what is said—instead, it’s about giving someone your full attention, and simply listening.

It sounds pretty basic, but it happens to be incredible. Pace explains that the first time she did it, she felt like nobody had ever actually listened to her before, it was such a wonderful feeling. She was nervous, at first, as if she was giving a speech, but then she realized that nobody was judging her on her delivery. The experience was specifically for her own benefit!

We go over the “rules”: If you’re tempted to give feedback, please refrain. Feedback can be given by “twinkling” (the wagglement of fingers to signify agreement or ‘I hear you, I agree, been there!’), or touching your hand to your heart (if you are particularly touched or can relate to what someone has said). Otherwise, we stay quiet and listen. This is sort of a sacred space. Sometimes we’re not really ready to share something but we want to be ‘heard’ anyway—and because we are not obligated to talk about those things in this space, if you wish to discuss something mentioned during check-in, it’s best to ask permission to talk about those things before assuming that just because they came out, they’re fair game.

Nothing you say during check-in will start a hard conversation or a fight; it’s safe for us all to say anything we need to say. And of course, we don’t share what someone has said outside of check-in—if we think of it, we ask permission, and absolutely honor the answers. (As you can imagine, I did not liveblog anything that anyone said during check-in!)

Your check-in can be really long, or really short, and either one is absolutely okay. You don’t need to be nervous or plan what you’re going to say. There’s never any pressure to say something specific, and no need to worry about it!

When we checked in tonight, we introduced ourselves (although I believe for the most part, we all knew each other) and mentioned what we were hoping to get out of the Intensive overall. Then we went into whatever we ended up going into! I closed the computer down for about an hour and a half while we went around the circle. Then when we were done, I opened it back up.

Break

After check-in we were hungry and wanted to pee, so we decided to grab some grub and have a bathroom break before continuing. We spend our break chattering and munching and laughing and having far too much fun. By a quarter to nine, I’m fascinated with how relaxed and pleased I am in this environment, even after something of a difficult day.

Marty and I notice that check-in has solved a few problems for us—things that we were having trouble putting into words before. That’s usually the way check-in works, which is awesome. We often notice that things tend to boil up underneath, and need to get out, so this is one particularly fabulous way of dealing with that. Almost all conversations that people have are conversations. You go to the place in your head that decides what you’ll say next, which means you’re not completely listening to the other person (who is usually aware of it on some level). But with check-in, you don’t have to be engaged in anything but paying attention—and if you’re talking, you don’t have to worry that the person who seems to be listening, isn’t.

“I just need you to listen—I don’t need you to tell me how you feel about what I’m feeling, I don’t need you to fix anything, I just need you to listen.”

Being Yohn

As we start on the next point, I start to wonder what this post is going to be like—I’ve talked about this so many times, I’m bound to come up with something new and interesting. Now we are talking about Yohn.

Pace: “I was having some problem in my head and I went to talk to Sera about it, and I’ve been really frustrated with work, and sometimes I feel like it’s just a waste of time, etc. I just went on and on and on, and Sera just listened. Eventually I got to the point where I was feeling really good about it! And I said, thanks for your advice! And Sera’s like, I didn’t say anything!”

(As you might already have guessed, everything I quote here is paraphrased. I just can’t type quite fast enough to be completely accurate!)

Yohn, as I’ve explained before, was a character in a tactical game. Yohn was mute, and any time Yohn would say anything it was always this: “...”

Therefore, whenever someone solves a problem by listening, we call it being Yohn!

Sera: “It’s magical! From my perspective, I’m sitting and listening with an occasional nod or question, but there’s this flood of information, like the other person is having a conversation with herself.”

One aspect of Being Yohn is the Cardboard Cut-Out Dog effect, which we have in software engineering (and certainly other places as well). You have a bug in your program and you call your friend over and need their help, and you totally fix it yourself without them doing anything but sitting there. So instead of wasting your friend’s expensive time, why not just have a company dog: “Hey Fido! I have this bug in my program… Thanks Fido!” And then, why use an actual dog!? Cardboard! Sometimes it’s just about talking it out, translating it into words and really understanding what’s going on.

We have these scripts, canned answers, that we use in everyday life. It can be a person, a cut out, a diary… your blog. I often change my mind while writing (and Pace apparently does this too). It matters that there’s somebody listening!

The second part of the power of listening and Being Yohn is that there’s this feeling of safety, having someone’s attention, someone being there for you in that safe space, it’s suddenly very easy and things want to come out that we were maybe hiding before (even from ourselves). Suddenly I’ve been transported to this space just for me. Everything comes out, it’s beautiful and trusting and awesome.

This is one of the reasons we’re doing a lot of check-ins here (every session!)—it gives us the chance to experience that thing, that good feeling.

Everyone here has the power to help someone solve a problem just by listening, and that’s no small thing.

“No one wants to practice listening if it’s not rewarding in some way… Ooh but I want to talk!” (I do this.) “But after practicing more listening, I found that it was really rewarding in a whole different way—it helped me become a better listener.”

A lot of people don’t have space for, say, counseling (a very direct way of having someone listen). Something like this can be very powerful, especially to someone who hasn’t encountered something like it before. We’re always on the surface, using our canned answers—it’s worth it to stop and pay attention.

“She knows that when I say, How are you? I’m not expecting her to say, Oh, fine, fine. We all ask each other that but we’re expecting certain answers.” Really being ready to listen makes a big difference.

We mentioned that the typical mode of conversation is back and forth, so if you listen you might notice that the person you are listening to may often assume that you agree with them. (N)

We are taught “conversation” but not “communication” (A). Conversation turns into a way of hearing yourself talk, it’s not about understanding, it’s about overcoming or converting others. A lot of people don’t understand that there’s a different (more efficient!) way to do it.

9:12 PM: Poem Time

Sera passes around a poem for us to read. Our mission is to jot down our interpretation of this poem. Everyone gets very quiet and reads, and then we write down our responses. I like the poem. Here’s how it goes:

If there is nothing else, then take a couple white stones to bed,
the sea made the stones white,
  they breathe, they preserve scent,
a couple white stones is my counsel,
  if the bed is wide for you alone.

You want to live your own life. Good.
You want to be yourself.
Beware. That’s what the worms wait for.
You want to live while you’re still young.
A mistake. One thousand blind eyes gnaw your picture to pieces.

In you a child’s fear breathes the darkness
  even as the play goes on.

—written by Paavo Haavikko and translated by Liana Foxvog

Then we proceed to talk about our interpretation of this poem. There are a ton of really interesting ideas passed around, many different ways of understanding it. It’s very enjoyable.

“The reason we did this is that the next three of our topics, every single one of us had a different interpretation about this poem—but it’s the same exact poem that we all read.” The next three topics are like that. Wild!

“Will you tell us what it means?”
“You have told us what it means!”
“What matters is what you understand. Poetry makes it extra tricky. Poetry exaggerates on the Usual Error, which is ALL about our interpretations of things.”

How could any one of us read this poem and think it’s about something completely different than anyone else? That’s the heart of the UE —we take our own interpretations and maps of the world, we think that everyone else is going to think the same way, same conclusions, same feelings. It doesn’t make you bad and it doesn’t make you wrong—it’s just how we are!

We expect the same conclusions because that’s all we have. No matter how close you get to somebody, you’re not in their head. We can understand, we can communicate, we can clarify… but it boils down to the fact that we make the UE every day, all day.

In the upcoming book, Kyeli is the storyteller. But telling the story of the UE was impossible because she couldn’t pick just one—she came up with fifteen small examples instead of a 5 or 6 paragraph story. It’s incredibly pervasive.

If we go back and look at what we wrote… we might see that we don’t even agree with ourselves, because we have changed since then.

9:35 PM

It’s the same twelve lines and everyone read it—but everyone understood it differently, completely, completely differently.

Note: We are all having far too much fun, I suspect. We laugh loudly and readily, we’re grinning, we’re discussing fervently. This is a Good Evening, and there will be five more! I admit that I’m a bit alarmed at the length of this post, after two and a half hours not even including check-in… and we’re barely through the fourth topic of ten! This is very interesting time-wise, but I can’t deny that I’m having an excellent time.

N. just said something completely brilliant and my train of thought is GONE.

9:48 PM

At this point we’ve wandered off slightly; we’re talking about political faction communication (disastrous) and definition conversations, the way the usual error slips into many different areas, and something that seems like the opposite of the usual error but… I just BET it isn’t.

10:02 PM Overtime

We’re discussing how to handle the running over. This is such an interesting situation. Sounds like we’re going to make an LJ community (unsure if this will be private or public) to have additional conversation.

We’ll add to that a ten minute rundown right now, to cover the remaining material for tonight. Ten minutes, Pace: GO!!

All right. I’m not going to liveblog this. Too fast!! Pace and Kyeli are talking SO fast and it’s very entertaining! I wonder if they can really do this in ten minutes from 10:02…. omgoodness…. The clock is ticking!

By 10:10 PM we’re on Number EIGHT! So close!

10:12 PM and we’re on Feeling Considered, second to last…

Tonight is the inaugural episode of the Usual Error Intensive, in six parts over the course of the next two months. I have permission to liveblog and you bet I’ll be doing so, as thoroughly as Meganly possible.

The mad communication mayhem begins at 7pm Central. I’ll post my notes as I make them, and then add cleaned up versions later on. The Intensive is mentioned here (though there’s no permalink). If you’re curious about my previous wild and crazy Usual Error notes, I have a usual+error tag here just for you. ;}

Wow—preparing for this makes me think crazy tech conference ideas, I really can’t help it…

Stay tuned!

12:17 PM: It may not already be obvious that I won’t be blogging personal information or the “checking in” of those attending—better to mention it now than have folks worried (or disappointed?) later! What kinda goon do you think I am? :P

10:42 PM: The first post is now here, though I will caution you that it is completely unedited and pretty much raw information. I will polish and organize later, after I’ve recovered! Enjoy. ;}