This is pretty scary. There’s a little voice in my head—hell, you might be hearing it too—that’s saying, DUDE. QUIT SHARING YOUR SECRETS. And it’s not even that I think anything I’m doing is particularly ground-breaking, but that voice in my head, it wants the upper hand.
Here’s a lesson I’m learning over time, and it’s still a struggle: The upper hand just isn’t worth it.
In order to have the upper hand, you have to disconnect from the people around you. REAL PEOPLE —people with feelings and passions and goals that mean something to them. You have to walk around pretending you’re more important, or more worth it, or superior in some fundamental way that gives you the right to stop sharing and growing the whole rather than just your little piece. Your little piece is something nifty, but that’s nothing compared to letting the pieces all function as a single organism. I’m a part. You’re a part. Everyone else = all parts. We are more than the sum of our parts. (But only if we work together.)
Disconnecting? It’s not what it’s cracked up to be. It lets you feel cold and strong for awhile, but it doesn’t last. It makes you lonely. It tires you out. You’re a human being. You NEED to connect.
Looks like I blog more easily when I’m blah blah blahing at someone else. But funny (and unsurprising) how easily all these things can be applied to me!
Updates on my application:
- I made a mistake! I told you I would! I was totally all blabbity blabbity research and Seth actually said specifically that research (on him, on his projects) is unnecessary. So there’s that, for what it’s worth. I am clearly HYOOGE on research—my own Megan-style research, but research nonetheless. Do what you think is best!
- It turns out the next step, BEFORE typing, is drawing. BIG TIP: When you feel tired or unfocused, it’s awesome to get away from the computer and work with real objects for awhile. (It accesses a completely different part of your brain, and it’s really useful in helping you reset.) I love paper so much. As soon as I finish the big map I’m making, I’ll upload that so you can see. Markers are a wonderful thing!!
That’s all for now, but I promise there will be more soon. I’m having a great day. I hope you are too!
PS. Wow, this entry has a lot of caps. I haz a caps garden!
