Then I will go to the dentist and the dentist will put on his Bad Face and say “OMG!!1eleven, you need a root canal!” And I will say “WHAT!?? I DO NOT!” and the dentist will say “OMG!!1eleven you SO DO and it will cost ELEVENTYBILLION DOLLARS.”
Then I will pass out.
Nightmare, anyone?
When I wake up, I will say, “Well crap, I guess we have to pay them eleventy billion dollars. Write the bad dentist man a check.” And then (probably after I obtain painkillers for my pending root canal) I will go about deciding how to make more money. Because, well… I have to. Whining, fearing, arguing, none of this will help, so I mostly don’t bother. I just fix it.
Sure, I’ll be nervous. Sure, I’ll feel some trepidation and worry a little about whether I can do it. But mostly (because I’ve done this a ton of times now and I know that it always SOMEHOW works out) I will enforce a sense of confidence and determination, and I will get the thing done. Even down to the wire, all kinds of excellent things can happen to turn things to my favor. The trick is to plan well and make them happen much sooner than later.
And I can do that.
I don’t know why I can’t do that when I DON’T need the money in the next three weeks. I’m still working that part out. It’s a fascinating process.
And in the meantime, there are things we “need.” Not root canal need, but state of mind and organization need. Like bookshelves. Incredibly useful and legitimate business expenses that I’ve been putting off, a whole list of them. Groceries (those are nice, I like those). And we haven’t really bought new clothes in, gulp, probably a few years now. (Hell, they don’t even have to be NEW. Just new to US!)
I’m not talking about hauling off on a daily sushi binge; I’m not talking about spending a great deal more money than is usually in our budget every month. I AM talking about increasing that budget gradually, planning for it, and proclaiming myself capable of dealing with the additional margin. Why on earth not? Many lookers-on were skeptical that Marty could quit his day job and we could both survive perfectly well working for ourselves. Listeners shuddered when they found out that we added a big monthly car payment right around the time he quit. Oh yes, and then our rent went up!
Would you like to guess how many times we’ve actually been unable to pay our rent? Go ahead, guess.
ZERO. (Was that what you guessed?)
How about how many times we’ve had to negotiate a payment plan with a utility company because we couldn’t send them a check?
Nope.
Never happened.
We’ve gotten rid of bills here, added other ones there. And we keep paying them. And 99% of them have been paid on time, every time. That doesn’t sound to me like two people at the brink of destitution. It doesn’t sound to me like people who are incapable of improving their lot in life. It doesn’t sound to me like people who must be content with the boxes they’ve been dropped into.
That sounds to me like two people who can get what they need, when they need it, because they’re capable, courageous, clever—and alliterative, an attribute you must never underestimate. All I have to do is buy the things I need when I need them, and create more income to cover them. It won’t be hard—especially if I plan well, take it in reasonable increments—and especially after the money is spent. Then there’s no going back. I’m great with the Point of No Return, man.
I am not crazy. These are not crazy ideas.
YOU can do this, too. All you need is to make the decision, be brave, and carry through. Almost ANYONE can do this. I’m not even sure I need to use the word “almost.” If you look deep enough inside yourself you’re going to see the same things I’ve seen. Tremendous will power, infinite creativity, true ability to put yourself wherever you want to be. I don’t doubt it for a second.
Anyway, after we pay April’s rent, I’m probably going to buy a freaking bookcase. Or something else on the long list of things I’ve been putting off.
Think about it.
PS. HEY! YOU! Yes, you. I hope you don’t think this is a good excuse to do something incredibly stupid with your budget. I’m talking increments here, people. I’m talking confidence and increments. Be reasonable. But be BRAVE.
PPS. Oh! No, no root canals. That was just an example. Incidentally, though, that exact brand of spur-of-the-moment root canal has happened to me in the past. It was scary; we got through it just fine. I don’t expect any more root canal escapades, honestly; I stopped eating sugar and started drinking just gallons of green juice. I’m probably in pretty good shape.
PPPS. Our scenario assumes, of course, that “eleventy billion” is less than $2500. Just pretend.
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