Brooke Thomas sent me a note not long ago letting me know that she was organizing a graduation gift to commemorate the end of Seth Godin’s Alternative MBA program: For Seth, from the almost-Alternative-MBAs. That is, those of us who submitted an application but didn’t make it into the program!

This was a bizarre coincidence, because I had noticed previously that the Big Thing I was getting ready to launch happened to coincide with the end of the program, and I was forced to reflect on the last six months of my life—six months I might have spent working on projects in New York, but six months that, at the same time, I had done really great things with anyway. Successes I was proud of. Projects I wouldn’t have traded for anything.

As it happens, I’d been putting off this launch for about a week already. Ah, psychology. It’s never quite there, you know? But really, it was already done. Brooke’s note meant I couldn’t put it off any longer.

Also as it happens—today is Seth’s birthday. I can’t think of a better day to make my first official launch post and kick everything off. Thanks to Seth Godin for all his nudges, inspiration, and awesomeness. I wish you a very, very happy birthday.

So that’s it, right? Time to show you the good stuff!

If you want to know all about my project, you can read the Squidoo lens I put together: Idea Blueprint Girl: The (Home Study) Alternative MBA of Megan M.

Or you can go straight to That Idea Blueprint Girl, and start browsing.

Things are about to get pretty interesting around here. ;}

Just like the last one, I was only ten pages in before I started saying Whoa.

I define “fundamental change” as a society where every individual comes to accept every social problem as a problem of his own making, and sees the wisdom of changing himself (into a happier and compassionate human being) as his way of changing the world.

Have you ever picked up a book and seen your thoughts reflected almost perfectly in its pages? This happened to me with most of Chris Guillebeau’s ebook, nearly all of Seth Godin’s Tribes, and probably only a few others that I can think of. Snow Crash wasn’t a reflection—it was a new adventure for me that fit perfectly into what I wanted, right then. (It was crazy inspiring, too.) But Republic of Tea is reading my brain like a… like a book.

So those of you who’ve read it and remember its particular turns of phrase will find it very funny when I say: The Republic of Tea is reading me.

There are parts that have created bizarre chemical changes in my brain, like this:

In The Republic of Tea we embody Chuang Tzu’s “time before history,” when people were kind to one another but did not call it “being kind to one another,” when people naturally looked out for each other and for the world around them but didn’t see it as “being caring and responsible.” Incidentally, the reason Chuang Tzu called this the “time before history” is because it was an era that came and went without leaving a trace of itself. Since nothing went “wrong,” nobody had any reason to write anything down. It was lived, not recorded.

And there are parts that are constantly making me laugh, even as I consider how true they can sometimes be:

...reflects that business is life and life is business and our understanding that anybody who separates the two is just looking for a way to rationalize his uncivil behavior in business.

And geeze, I’m barely halfway through. It’s a decent first edition, so I had to strong arm myself into enacting my customary dog-ear’d note-taking learning process. (Any book, to me, is worth more as a lesson than a museum piece. Well, unless it’s a museum piece.)

It gets more heavily into business territory as it goes. It’s teaching me really interesting things about physical product development, and it’s showing me a lot of process that I’ve never seen anywhere else. But it’s so much more than that; it’s based on ideas that give me chills.

People thrive on happiness. There is nothing elusive about happiness. It’s here always; the only problem is that sometimes we’re not here for it.

Read that one again, guys.

I don’t know whether you’re interested in tea or business, but great big parts of this book are just about life, and it’s already so worth reading.

The Republic of Tea and Snow Crash (among many others) were picked up on !MBA recommendation. So far it’s steering way true. (Thanks, Seth!)

Man, do I love good books.

At least to the half point, this one’s a doozy. I’ll keep you updated, but I doubt I’ll change my mind. ;}

[Edit: That’s what I get for posting before sleep! Snow Crash was actually on this list. Made to Stick is the other from the !MBA. I’ll tell you about that one shortly!]

Overviews are too often uninteresting, colorless glossings-over—at least when I write them. It’s a shame, because the only times I feel driven to write an overview are the times I’ve experienced something really worth sharing (and been too long in actually sharing it). But if I’ve experienced something really worth sharing… doesn’t it deserve better than an overview?

My urge to talk about New York has been like that. It made an impression on me. Hell, any one piece of that trip would have made an impression on me, but altogether it was a flood of them. I can’t put that across in an overview. And if I were to write an overview… man, it’d be boring. Worst post of the year. (Worse still, for mistreating what could otherwise be an amazing story. Those freaking buildings!)

I don’t want to give you factoids. I don’t want to outline my itinerary. I want to write something that helps you feel what I felt. Even if your only viable involvement is my retelling, I want you to have an emotional investment that gives you a real experience, not just useful information, but something that resonates. Something that stays with you.

I guess I can’t promise to have that kind of skill, but I’ll sure as hell try.

I want you to understand the way Austin’s downtown city lights take my breath away, so that you can try to grasp why New York’s sheer glitter and spread stopped my heart. Austin is comfy and just-right, and New York is the great growling wilderness. The lights were everywhere. The city grows out, but it also grows up... and up, and up, and up!

I don’t want to impart the whole thing in one mediocre swath. If I have to write the whole experience in tiny vignettes over the course of the next three months, well, fine. I hope that won’t drive you nuts. Because I just can’t stand to do it any other way.

You get it, don’t you?

If you can’t hear the crazed gleeful gurgling, you’re just going to have to imagine it.

Last week I ordered an insane number of books. (People who sent me Amazon gift certificates for Christmas: YOU WIN. People who are noodling over what to send me: That would be your subtle hint…) I’m long overdue for some gorgeous hardcore reading, and I have not a few fantastic reasons to ramp up my educational focus. Also? Desperate informational hunger. Rawr.

Most of them shipped yesterday, and many are supposed to arrive today. Every time I look at the receipts in my inbox I just die of excitement and suspense. I clearly have no patience when it comes to reading material. Forget that I have plenty to read here already. I crave my new books with the heat of a thousand suns. I’m already on the cusp of my reading binge (I recently finished Stardance and Extras and Starseed, and I’m working on Snow Crash and See You at the Top and Kevin Kelly’s New Rules) but the more I have in the pile, the faster I’ll read them. Or maybe I’m just a sucker for a good book. Or ten.

My favorite reason to read at the moment: A slew of clever Sethheads are working on an Alternative Alternative MBA—whatever the name turns out to be—and I’m expecting it to be a gloriously wild ride. Here’s a list of the books we’re speculating on. If you originally applied for Seth’s !MBA (or were even just thinking about it) you can and should come join us. No reason like the present to get motivated and productive and supremely self-educated, I say!

Now to find some way to distract myself until I hear the UPS truck…

Ironically, these days I seem to be all about obligation.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m totally anti-obligation when it comes to the little unnecessary things we put on ourselves, trap ourselves into, or let rule our lives. I have to, I need to, I’d better. It’s been hard for me to balance that dissatisfaction with my very urgent, very powerful visceral certainty that there are some things we are in fact, obligated to do. That we must do. Things that change the world. Biological imperatives, you might call them.

I think it might be that I realized what obligation is for. It’s not for guilting you into doing somebody’s homework. It’s for identifying truly amazing opportunities for growth and happiness… and SEIZING them. Making your place in the world worth the carbon, oxygen and nutrients that built you. Moving forward.

And all of that is just my prelude to saying this: If you applied for Seth’s Alternative MBA and won’t be going to New York in January, you have an obligation to do something just as incredible. (I sure as hell do.)

Part of me is doing this familiar, boring little dance. Now that I’m home, it wants me to settle back into the status quo, do all the normal things, whine, fear, routine. Go back to old habits, pick up my old life. But that thing that it wants is stale. Broken. Easy, but stagnant. It’s not what I need—not what will help me grow.

If you hear me saying it to you, chances are I’m saying it to myself, too. Do NOT let your life “go back to normal”. Do NOT relinquish the mad drive that got you this far. You can stay in the brilliant space you’ve been occupying for the last few weeks—you don’t need the !MBA to do it. You don’t even need Seth to do it. (PROMISE.)

Come on, folks. Let’s get some shit done.

I’m done with my planes for the day, and the word is in: I’m free for brilliant things in the next six months! (In unambiguous terms, no, I didn’t get chosen for the !MBA. And that’s completely okay.)

We made a huge effort (and it did not go unnoticed). I am so, so grateful to all of you. I had no idea we would get as far as we did, and I’m proud of myself too. I was a real warrior the last few weeks, I don’t mind saying! And I’m really touched that there was such an outpouring of enthusiasm about the possibility of me going—so much that I actually DID the whole fund raising thing, mixed feelings or no. It’s hard to ignore that many vehement emails. When I look back and consider that, it is a teeny bit astonishing and mind-bendingly awesome.

If you offered me your support—pledges, donations, anything—you’ll be hearing from me pretty soon. We have some things to iron out! After that, it’s time to start thinking about what happens next, and to top this it’s going to need to be pretty damn awesome. (I’m not worried.)

Thank you, guys. You propelled me through an incredibly intense period of self-discovery, and I won’t forget it.

[Update: Brendan Mitchell said something that made me realize… my title would be a great intentional pun if I had gotten in! My brain sure is doing funny loop-the-loops—sorry if that confused anyone. I didn’t even notice it before. What a riot!]

I have had the most insanely amazing day, I can’t even process it properly—at least until I get a nap, or some food. New York is amazing, the people here are amazing, people on the street will smile back if you smile first, just TRY it!

I am quite behind on the blogging I meant to do, so I’ll put this out there: If there’s something you were looking forward to hearing me yammer about, poke me about it and I’ll make sure it gets up sometime soon.

I can’t tell you much about the !MBA meet at Seth’s office… but I’ll tell you this. That was more awesome people than I’ve seen stuffed into one room in… a really long time. Possibly ever. (I’m thinking. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything that comes close.)

I can also tell you that I have a very limited amount of time to come up with the remaining pre-paid work that would allow me to go. And that my brain is so fried after today that I’m having trouble figuring out how to move forward, tight deadlines and all. So I’m going to list what I know, and you can tell me what you think.

* I am in fact happy to accept work in smaller chunks. I’m even happy to accept pledges of monthly installments (especially if I can do work for you when I get back in August), so let me know what you WANT to do and we’ll find a way to make it work. (I hit $8000 in the last few hours—that’s more than a third of what I need!) This may not have been clear from my original copy, for which I’m saying Der! and redrafting.

• I’m pretty sure I need a mailing list. Email me if you want to be on it—I’ll use it for quick updates on my situation and last-minute requests for advice or assistance. (I still love you a LOT even if you don’t want to be on this list.)
• Advice for Megans: I may send out a few emails to help me clear my head. If you feel like helping me clear my head, feel free to email me first. ;}

Growing is uncomfortable. I am uncomfortable! But how could I possibly trade this experience? Uncle Henry’s Empire State Building, the amazing cityscape view from my aunt’s apartment, half-second connections with happy people on sidewalks, friendly construction workers, brilliant vegan restaurants, that great crowd of sharp minds this morning, and then I walked out of Grand Central Station and it was snowing, all those buildings and the sky and the people and the vibration of this crazy fantastic place, what a thing someone built by coming here and deciding it should be something! What a great brilliant beast this city is.

Holy. Cow. Guys.

Time to regroup, and get my brain back. Here goes…

I’ve been thinking a lot about this.

I don’t like “fund raising”. I don’t like asking for something without giving something—or more—in return. (As you might have gathered.) I don’t like the obnoxious overtones it often takes on—even when obnoxious overtones are being specifically avoided!) and I don’t like what it does to people. It sometimes disconnects them, gives them guilt, and it’s hard to steer clear of those things even with the best of intentions. Maybe someday I’ll have perfected the formula, but that day is a long time coming.

The positive side of it is the part that trips me up. (It’s easy to stop doing something with no upside.) I’m pretty thoroughly certain that I can do great things for great people, if I can just find the people who want the opportunity. Second-guessing the urge to fund raise—and no, I haven’t thought of a better term for it, but please feel free to suggest—means not only closing a door for me, but closing windows for potentially dozens of other people. People who could use those windows.

It’s just that I’m not willing to go too far to find those people. I’m not willing to engage in tactics that would alienate half my audience and guilt the rest into putting a dollar in the pot. It’s just not worth the ugh feeling, all around.

This may mean that I’ll have to create another opportunity elsewhere and make this my big trip to New York, but I won’t budge on it. It’s too important. So the question is… what do I need to do to go as far as I can, responsibly, consciously? And maybe succeed?

That’s a damn good question.

Most of you know already that I got my application in, and was invited to the open office session + interview in New York on December 16th. I thence purchased a last-minute plane ticket (for what is probably an absurdly reasonable price) and I am at this very moment sitting in the Austin airport.

G’ness!

The part of my brain that identifies “normal” situations, feelings, and experiences… has shut down. If it was awake, it would be shrieking about how I’m supposed to be home watching TV or making myself a smoothie. I don’t think it can handle me hopping off to New York on (quite a bit) less than two week’s notice, so I’m going to let it sleep. (I’m probably better off, come to think of it…)

My intent was to do a lot more blogging through the end of my application process—but as you might guess, I found myself seriously crunched for time. I’m not going to stop here, and maybe I can be of use in other ways as I go. Tiara was poking me for more fund raising information so I think I’ll yammer about that while I push to raise !MBA attendee funds. I haz a plan. ;}

For the moment, though, I’m waiting to board to Houston and trying to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything important. If you’re waiting for an email from me, you are awesomely patient and I adore you. I have a huge lot of messages in my mailbox, so I’ll be making time this week to plow through them and make them manageable. (If you need to send me a reminder, I certainly won’t be offended!)

And finally, if you fell off your chair when you found out that I got an interview, and you want to pre-book my time—which will be necessary if I’m going to say “yes” when Seth asks me to join them in January—go on and read all the details right here. ;}

I’ll see y’all when I land. Here we go!