Music has been taking a back seat for a very, very long time.

See, music doesn’t really pay the bills. Even if you “do it right”, you are in school and in young artist programs for a long time before you make very much money. For a gal who ran out of money to finish college and spent the ensuing years building businesses to make money to help her family keep the bills paid, of course music was going to take a back seat. Fifty bucks for a handful of rehearsals and a local concert doesn’t buy very many groceries.

The trick is to get innovative, but I admit I’ve been distracted. I have a lot of interests and passions and I’m pulled in a hell of a lot of different directions. People in college who thought I should pursue one thing were not big fans of me. Opera, art classes, musical theater. Not to mention the drawing and writing and business-building I did in my notebook while I was supposed to be paying attention. I was so enamored with my multitasking, I never got in my required courses (math, science, ha!). Not before the money ran dry, at least.

While I am passionate about music, music has taken a back seat because I am passionate about other things that do pay the bills. Those things have always had my first attention, not because they’re particularly more interesting than music (and not just because they make money) but because I liked them and it made sense at the time.

But I’ll tell you, music taking a back seat has always bothered the hell out of me.

“If I just had a little more money,” I’d say, and be frustrated, and stare dolefully at the expanse of red Schirmer opera scores on the bottom shelf. “Someday, huh?”

Someday!

Yeesh.

The part that (maybe) makes it complicated is that I’m not all that interested in giving up anything else. I will still gleefully run my business, Marty’s business, and help anyone who seems helpable. I’m still going to write and go media crazy (overdue for a videoblog, wouldn’t you say?). I’m still going to take on design projects. Because I love these things. They make me happy.

But music makes me happy, too.

Really, really happy.

There is nothing in the whole world like getting up in front of an appreciative audience and pouring out your soul. Nothing like spending weeks learning one annoying aria and finally hitting the sweet spot where you know all the words and all the notes and it just gels, it’s a part of you, it’s natural and has no taste, like saliva, it matches you perfectly and flows right through you. You’re it. It’s you.

When I see shows, I get jealous. I try to figure out what I did wrong that meant I wasn’t up there with them. I try to understand how this happened. But I know how it happened. The money wasn’t there.

John—my Welsh cousin and my voice teacher, too—tells me that he sees it happen a lot. People stop singing because they don’t have the money. Any music takes time and resources, but classical music takes more than most. Studying and rehearsing and performing all take a lot of time, especially if you’re driving two hours to your lessons the way I am (and back, oh god, the traffic from San Antonio to Austin!). Music costs money, of course. Lessons and rehearsals cost money. Let’s not even discuss concert gowns, or makeup, or, for that matter, traveling across the country to compete.

Right. Money.

So you can see how this all came about. I was working hard for money, and the money I made pretty much just barely covered my music study if I didn’t schedule lessons too often, or competitions almost ever. Taking more time off paying work in order to study more often wasn’t something I was going to do. There were still bills after moving to Austin and ditching my safety net. (Oh, who needs safety nets anyway?) So I drove down to see John and Kim (his lovely wife who plays brilliant piano!) once a month, maybe once every few months. Sometimes less. That was the way it was. It could change later, when more funds were available.

The problem is, “later” doesn’t cut it. “Later” never happens. Waiting for something nebulous to just occur is a lot like making peace with never getting it at all. Which is why I’ve had a bit of a plan up my sleeve.

You see, I left a lot of wonderful supportive music-lovers in Ohio. There were many lovely, lovely people in the Welsh community who looked after me and supported me and wanted to be kept in the loop. They wanted to see me succeed. Many of them came to support me when I had my fund raising concert in Pittsburgh, before I headed off to Wales for the first time. I’ve always been really bummed that moving to Austin meant leaving them behind, not just because their existence made me feel good (and boy, did it ever!) but because they were such kind people. They were the kind of people I wanted to stay connected to.

So a few months ago, I decided I could stay connected to them. I doubt you’ve missed my Social Connection Via Internet rants. Yes, that’s exactly where I’m going with this.

I’m setting up a site.

It’s going to be called Megan Makes Music. (Because she does. Even more now than ever!)

What Megan Makes Music is going to allow me to do is something I’ve been mulling over for a long time. The questions were these: How can I let my supporters support me the same way they would if we were local? How can they feel like a part of my progress? How can they keep track of my career? How can they feel how integral and special and important they are to me and to how far I’ve come already?

One big dilemma was how to let them feel involved when it’s impossible for them to travel 2200 miles to sit in on one of my lessons, for instance, or a rehearsal. But I think I’ve solved that problem, because by God, I have a video camera. And a (passable) internet connection. (Time Warner, do you realize they have eighty-billion megabyte net connections in Canada? WTF!?) And some very reasonable business know-how. And a hell of a lot of motivation.

So I’m going to build a membership site. And I’m going to let my supporters pay whatever they want to help me out on an ongoing basis, and I am going to start sending private blog entries and new audio recordings and even the occasional rehearsal video down the pike, so they can actually be involved. It won’t be perfect when we start, but we’ll refine it as we go—and it will mean regular, wonderful music under circumstances that greatly improve my ability to schedule regular lessons and rehearsals—and increase my chances of creating music-related income and getting me safely to Wales in 2010. We’re not aiming for second place this time, folks. We’re aiming higher.

And you can help me do it.

Right now, Megan Makes Music is one sign-up page for more information. I’m moving as quickly as I can to get everything figured out and running, so depending on the number of people who turn out to be interested, I may have it settled and ready to go in the next few weeks. I’m really, really hoping that everyone gets a lot out of it, and I’m very excited to have a good excuse to make music again. This is going to be really freaking fun. ;}

If it makes you as happy as it makes me, drop on by and let me know.

Thank you for listening, guys. :}

PS. I was not kidding about cool people talking about me on BBC Radio Wales yesterday morning. Here’s a link to the recording that looks like it will only be up until Monday October 12th—works great in Safari, not so great in Firefox. (Meh!) Alan Upshall is one of the nicest Welshmen I know, and he’s the one talking to Roy Noble on the air. Alan’s bit starts at 36-and-a-half minutes in and goes for about a half hour. If everything works out, there will be another BBC Radio Wales recording for you to listen to in the next week or two. ;}

I’m done with my planes for the day, and the word is in: I’m free for brilliant things in the next six months! (In unambiguous terms, no, I didn’t get chosen for the !MBA. And that’s completely okay.)

We made a huge effort (and it did not go unnoticed). I am so, so grateful to all of you. I had no idea we would get as far as we did, and I’m proud of myself too. I was a real warrior the last few weeks, I don’t mind saying! And I’m really touched that there was such an outpouring of enthusiasm about the possibility of me going—so much that I actually DID the whole fund raising thing, mixed feelings or no. It’s hard to ignore that many vehement emails. When I look back and consider that, it is a teeny bit astonishing and mind-bendingly awesome.

If you offered me your support—pledges, donations, anything—you’ll be hearing from me pretty soon. We have some things to iron out! After that, it’s time to start thinking about what happens next, and to top this it’s going to need to be pretty damn awesome. (I’m not worried.)

Thank you, guys. You propelled me through an incredibly intense period of self-discovery, and I won’t forget it.

[Update: Brendan Mitchell said something that made me realize… my title would be a great intentional pun if I had gotten in! My brain sure is doing funny loop-the-loops—sorry if that confused anyone. I didn’t even notice it before. What a riot!]

I have had the most insanely amazing day, I can’t even process it properly—at least until I get a nap, or some food. New York is amazing, the people here are amazing, people on the street will smile back if you smile first, just TRY it!

I am quite behind on the blogging I meant to do, so I’ll put this out there: If there’s something you were looking forward to hearing me yammer about, poke me about it and I’ll make sure it gets up sometime soon.

I can’t tell you much about the !MBA meet at Seth’s office… but I’ll tell you this. That was more awesome people than I’ve seen stuffed into one room in… a really long time. Possibly ever. (I’m thinking. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything that comes close.)

I can also tell you that I have a very limited amount of time to come up with the remaining pre-paid work that would allow me to go. And that my brain is so fried after today that I’m having trouble figuring out how to move forward, tight deadlines and all. So I’m going to list what I know, and you can tell me what you think.

* I am in fact happy to accept work in smaller chunks. I’m even happy to accept pledges of monthly installments (especially if I can do work for you when I get back in August), so let me know what you WANT to do and we’ll find a way to make it work. (I hit $8000 in the last few hours—that’s more than a third of what I need!) This may not have been clear from my original copy, for which I’m saying Der! and redrafting.

• I’m pretty sure I need a mailing list. Email me if you want to be on it—I’ll use it for quick updates on my situation and last-minute requests for advice or assistance. (I still love you a LOT even if you don’t want to be on this list.)
• Advice for Megans: I may send out a few emails to help me clear my head. If you feel like helping me clear my head, feel free to email me first. ;}

Growing is uncomfortable. I am uncomfortable! But how could I possibly trade this experience? Uncle Henry’s Empire State Building, the amazing cityscape view from my aunt’s apartment, half-second connections with happy people on sidewalks, friendly construction workers, brilliant vegan restaurants, that great crowd of sharp minds this morning, and then I walked out of Grand Central Station and it was snowing, all those buildings and the sky and the people and the vibration of this crazy fantastic place, what a thing someone built by coming here and deciding it should be something! What a great brilliant beast this city is.

Holy. Cow. Guys.

Time to regroup, and get my brain back. Here goes…

I’ve been thinking a lot about this.

I don’t like “fund raising”. I don’t like asking for something without giving something—or more—in return. (As you might have gathered.) I don’t like the obnoxious overtones it often takes on—even when obnoxious overtones are being specifically avoided!) and I don’t like what it does to people. It sometimes disconnects them, gives them guilt, and it’s hard to steer clear of those things even with the best of intentions. Maybe someday I’ll have perfected the formula, but that day is a long time coming.

The positive side of it is the part that trips me up. (It’s easy to stop doing something with no upside.) I’m pretty thoroughly certain that I can do great things for great people, if I can just find the people who want the opportunity. Second-guessing the urge to fund raise—and no, I haven’t thought of a better term for it, but please feel free to suggest—means not only closing a door for me, but closing windows for potentially dozens of other people. People who could use those windows.

It’s just that I’m not willing to go too far to find those people. I’m not willing to engage in tactics that would alienate half my audience and guilt the rest into putting a dollar in the pot. It’s just not worth the ugh feeling, all around.

This may mean that I’ll have to create another opportunity elsewhere and make this my big trip to New York, but I won’t budge on it. It’s too important. So the question is… what do I need to do to go as far as I can, responsibly, consciously? And maybe succeed?

That’s a damn good question.

Most of you know already that I got my application in, and was invited to the open office session + interview in New York on December 16th. I thence purchased a last-minute plane ticket (for what is probably an absurdly reasonable price) and I am at this very moment sitting in the Austin airport.

G’ness!

The part of my brain that identifies “normal” situations, feelings, and experiences… has shut down. If it was awake, it would be shrieking about how I’m supposed to be home watching TV or making myself a smoothie. I don’t think it can handle me hopping off to New York on (quite a bit) less than two week’s notice, so I’m going to let it sleep. (I’m probably better off, come to think of it…)

My intent was to do a lot more blogging through the end of my application process—but as you might guess, I found myself seriously crunched for time. I’m not going to stop here, and maybe I can be of use in other ways as I go. Tiara was poking me for more fund raising information so I think I’ll yammer about that while I push to raise !MBA attendee funds. I haz a plan. ;}

For the moment, though, I’m waiting to board to Houston and trying to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything important. If you’re waiting for an email from me, you are awesomely patient and I adore you. I have a huge lot of messages in my mailbox, so I’ll be making time this week to plow through them and make them manageable. (If you need to send me a reminder, I certainly won’t be offended!)

And finally, if you fell off your chair when you found out that I got an interview, and you want to pre-book my time—which will be necessary if I’m going to say “yes” when Seth asks me to join them in January—go on and read all the details right here. ;}

I’ll see y’all when I land. Here we go!

My application is just about finished (it’s here, if anyone would like to go through it and help me look for typos while I continue finishing up—ha!), and I’m moving fast! Here’s a run-down of all the stuff I’ve gone through, in case it comes in handy:

• I used highlighters to turn a print-out of Seth’s !MBA lens into a checklist. I took notes on the conference call (linked near the bottom of the lens) and I’m using that as a checklist, too. I’m not going to turn this thing in until every one of my boxes is checked off!
• I’ve been collecting references like mad. I have a feeling that putting them in the comments on this page was a really great idea, because I can keep them on my site for future endeavors—or look at them when I’m feeling down. (Note to self: Make Happy File for stowing all the nice things people say for cheerin’ up on lame days. GREAT idea.)
• Don’t get discouraged if a plan of action doesn’t work out! I’m seeing a lot of great ideas and a lot of motivated people sort of tapering off, and that’s okay, but remember, YOU have to decide whether to push it forward and make it happen or not. Don’t depend on someone else to do it if you believe it needs to be done! (And don’t take no for an answer if you’re sure in your heart that it’s right.)
• Things have been quiet for the last few days. Don’t let that slow you down—things are not quiet because of you. (I’ve been telling myself this over the last 48 hours.) Don’t second-guess yourself. Ask trusted confidantes for advice and stick to your guns. We can do this!
• I’ve had a lot of trouble actually sitting down to write my application. There’s way more riding on this than the !MBA for me—my ability to see my own awesomeness, to talk about myself without getting embarrassed, to feel proud of my accomplishments instead of afraid that they’re not like everyone else’s. I know I’m not the only one who experiences those feelings. THEY DON’T MATTER. Only what you DO matters, only what you MAKE HAPPEN. Don’t let them stop you. They’re not worth it. You are the one who’s worth it!

So now that I’ve shared all my internal affirmations… ;}

Very soon I’m going to make a few (or more than a few?) posts about my fund raising efforts, what I did, how I did it and what happens next. But first—I’m going to finish this application!

PRELUDE

This application process has been constructed to be 1100% Megan Safe. This means that Megan M. has devised a wiley plan that will allow her to come to New York without any negative effects on her life, relationships, finances, or existing works in progress. She worked hard to come up with this plan, and it’s a great one. It has been certified Super Duper Bonafide Megan M. Approved to create ultra-positive lasting change in the lives of Megan and those around her. She has also determined that it absolutely must — MUST! — be of use to someone other than herself, and has taken steps to make it so. She is quite proud of herself.

Man, things are busy around here!

I determined today that fear, excitement and indigestion all seem to manifest the same physical sensations. Can I take a Tums for unbearable positive anticipation?

In the first eight hours after I posted my fund raising ideas, I tallied up over $4000. Things have been mostly quiet since then, but I’m feeling very grateful to the folks who have offered, no matter what happens in the end. What a rush, to be able to make something happen!

Marty set up something really amazing and is offering almost the same deal I am in order to help me raise money for the possibility of New York. (Yes. If your response is that he’s a huge sweety, you’d be right.) If you need illustration work, hiring him will help me out too—because our finances are one and the same. Anything that helps pay our bills for six months makes a difference, very much including work for Marty. And you’ll get a great deal on insanely awesome illustration work. !MBA or not, Marty is fantastic.

This evening I left recommendations for Becky and Jon because they are truly fabulous (and they asked sweetly!). If anyone else needs one I am happy to provide! (Well, if I worked with you on a project, or know you well enough to say something!) So please don’t hesitate to ask. :}

Speaking of which, I’m collecting references for my application in the comments on this page. Please drop by! :}

More amazing things are in the works. Stay tuned! (That high C is a doozy!)

I’ve been feeling really… vehement lately. Please raise your standards. You might be the pivotal factor that makes everyone else raise their standards, too. And if you’d like to hear more about that, you’ll have to watch the video! (Hint: I wear a very awesome tie, and talk about subject that really means something to me: POTENTIAL.)

Below is an image of how I started my application mind map! Markers make me happy. I made boxes for each of Seth’s questions, and put some mind maps in the boxes. (The boxes are particularly nice because they change the shape of the information I’m working with—that is incredibly brain-helpful. Text as text can get old fast!

Some happy fun marker-using tips:

• HAVE FUN! I’m serious about this part. It’s fun, it’s fun! (Anyway, that stokes your creative energies—and you’ll need ‘em!
• Use as many colors as possible! Don’t use black, don’t use a pencil, and don’t try to do it all in one color of ball-point pen. (Anyway, ball-point pens are seriously low-creativity. BEST IDEA: FINGERPAINTS!!)
• Shameless familial plug: Listen to Daydream on Autopilot while you work. Okay, this might not work for you. But it rocked for me. Their music is pretty freaking motivating. (Careful about that autoplay, though.)
• Highlight things! Highlighting is fun, especially if you have lots of colors. I didn’t highlight a lot of my mind map, but I went through a print-out of the Alternative MBA Squidoo lens and highlighted all the things I wanted to remember, plus added checkboxes so I could run through them before I finish up and make sure nothing got left out.
• Yours can be WAY better than mine. I don’t think mine is all that fantastic, but I’ve had a lot on my plate this week so I’m feeling forgiving. ;} The best mind maps are great organic beasts of information! Think about fractals and vines and tiny flowers, and you’ll have the right idea.
• Don’t use boxes. Yeah, go ahead, laugh. I think boxes are overrated. The shape-changing bit was awesome, but with a little more thought I might have made the whole map organic. Man, that would be cool! Don’t do it the way I did it. :D

That’s all for now!

I waffled on this one. I want to tell you how you can support ANY applicant, not just me. But my situation differs pretty widely from the situation of many, many others, and there’s no way for me to know how my needs match up to someone else’s. There’s also this: If I don’t ask for I want, I can hardly expect someone to give it to me. (You’re not a mind reader, after all.)

So I decided to make this list about me, with one big caveat: If you can think of a way to use one of these to support someone else (or yourself), PLEASE do so! This is about the journey, not the destination (another cliche au d’oeuvre, anyone? Oh, who cares!), and I’m determined to be of use to someone other than myself. Many of these items can be applied directly to other cases, and I hope that if you know someone who needs this kind of help you are doing everything you can to support them. (Chances are, they’re worth it.)

So without further adieu, here are all the (continually-updated) ways I can think of for you to support me or someone else in traveling to New York for Seth’s Alternative MBA!

Ridiculously obvious suggestions

• Wire me $17,000 and offer me a place to live. Some of you might think this is nuts, but I don’t think so. If you read my music biography you’ll notice that I’ve had a lot of really mad-awesome opportunities occur without my actually having the resources available to take advantage of them. It happens all the time. It’s why my family has a beautiful house to live in, instead of being forced to give our dogs away and live in a hutch in the bad part of town. It’s why I went to Orlando to compete, and it’s why I was able to go overseas and be a part of the huge National Eisteddfod stage show. Too many important pieces of my life have happened in just this way for me to be able to ignore the possibility of it happening now.
• Wire me $22,000—I’ll rent a room. ;} This one stands on its own. Hey, I bet I can find a perfectly awesome room!

Buy valuable services up front

• Hire me! You can hire me on a pre-paid basis to work with yourself or your company after I return from Seth’s program. I’ve explained all the details here. I highly suggest taking advantage of this one. ;} (I’ll even come sing for you, under the right circumstances.)
• Hire Marty. He will be in Austin working hard at illustration pursuits while I’m gone, and his finances are my finances. If he books six months of pre-paid work from January through July, he can do the work while I’m gone (and I’ll tell you, he is seriously brilliant). He’ll also probably give you a good deal for your project—especially if you happen to be a member of Triiibes. You can look at his website here, or send him an email here.

Donate your time

• If you would rather donate your time, you can pledge 5, 10, 20, 50 hours of work to benefit my ability to participate in the Alternative MBA. (Well, you can pledge more if you want!) All you have to do is make the same offer to your clients that I made to you: “Pay up front, here is your incentive to help us, and I donate the proceeds to this cause.” If you want to use text I’ve written, by all means go to it! :}
• Spread the word! This doesn’t take a great deal of time or effort, and it makes a big difference. If you know of an individual or business who would benefit from my awesome skillz, please pass the word along and suggest they get in touch with me. (Or better yet, introduce us!) I know there ARE people out there who can use my help, especially at the very low rate I’m offering—all we have to do is find them. Please also consider letting people know that I’m looking for references and any other kind of support they’re willing to offer.
• Write me a glowing, gushing reference. I’m encouraging everyone to comment with their reference for me on my What I Do (And What I Can Do For You) page (please drop by and do so!), and from there I’ll copy them to my application. Your willingness to vouch for me is huge. It helps folks who don’t know me as well feel comfortable supporting me if they feel passionate about what I want to do, and it gives folks who need to know more about me an idea of who I am, what I do and how I’ve affected the people in my life. (It also obviously serves as a reference to Seth for the actual program!)

Offer housing (or help me find some!)

• If you have a house with a guest room and a piano, and you’d like to offer me living space in your home for six months while I’m in New York, I’m happy to practice at least several times a week while I’m there. This means you get a private (if casual) concert in your home. I sing classical repertory—art songs, operatic arias, Welsh folk music and even jazz standards on request. (This is an a capella offer—I don’t have the piano skills to accompany myself, but I’m happy to jam with a pianist if you have one handy!) This totally doesn’t count as working while I’m there, because I will enjoy it so much, but I know there are people out there who would love to have a captive mezzo on their hands! (I will totally NOT practice music out loud unless the person I’m living with asks me to do so—no worries!) ;}
• Become my “housing sponsor”! It will cost me $3000-5000 on top of my other fund raising needs if I end up having to pay to rent a room or small apartment while I’m in town. I would love to offset this by working on a great project with a great person. If you’re that person, let’s talk! Need to know what I excel at? Here’s my master list of Megan-style specialties!

I will continue to add items and update this page as I go. Thank you for reading and for giving me a hand!

PS. Hey! If you are in a similar situation and need to raise funds for Seth’s Alternative MBA, PLEASE steal my ideas! I think they’ll help a lot, and I don’t mind at all. GOOD LUCK!

I posted my manifesto, so now I’m going to post my list of requirements. As I said before, these are slightly flexible but largely not negotiable. I am not going to in any way injure the progress Marty and I have made here in the pursuit of this opportunity. (Don’t get me wrong—it’s an amazing opportunity. But I can make another one without too much trouble, so it’ll be okay.)

Here’s a great lesson in asking for what you want: Sometimes it’s really. Freaking. Scary. But you have to do it anyway, because most of the time, no one is going to do it for you. Buck up and get to it!

Here are the things I need to travel to New York for Seth’s !MBA:

• $2700 / month (bills at home, groceries wherever I am) for six months
• Flight round trip to NY for the interview (about $450 if prices hold)
• Flight round trip to NY from January through July for the program (most likely $450 or less)
• A place to stay, either with fellow attendees or by renting a room ($3000-$5000 additional funds)
• A reliable internet connection during off-hours and weekends
• A fridge and a some cooking/prep space, since I’d be buying groceries instead of eating out
• Reasonable proximity to transport (or walking distance to a high-quality co-op or grocery like Whole Foods)

I’ll be making most of this money one way or another anyway—almost all of it is stuff I’ll be paying for if I stay home, too. Only $1000 or so is additional, assuming I can find a place to stay for free. In order to make this happen, I’d have to know the money is there up front. The only difference between me and someone who CAN do it is that they have a savings account, or reliable, flexible income, or whathaveyou.

Not long ago in Triiibes, I listed some ways I could accomplish this:

• Pre-paid projects—an agreement to apply learned knowledge for X hours a month after program, for instance
• A design or writing agreement; for instance, a commitment to a blog column for a year, or design support, etc.
• Find a way to guarantee Marty good, well-paid illustration work for six months

I love these ideas, and I’m unwilling to commit to anything that would keep me from fully optimizing my participation in this program. (That mostly means that I won’t be working while I’m in New York, except to maintain the projects I have on evenings and weekends.) There’s no doubt that making this thing happen solves a ton more problems for me than just getting to participate in an amazing event. It’s hard to forget that it would give us six months margin for paying our bills, instead of the three week margin we’ve had in the past few months. So you can see one reason I’m so motivated!

I’ve identified the absolute best option, and I’ve done a pretty fantastic write-up. If you or your company are looking for my skills, Seth’s methods and a BIG CHANGE, you’ll want to read this.

Megan’s Alternative MBA: A Crazy Opportunity for Some Clever, Amazing People (That’s You)

PLEASE spread the word about this to your friends and colleagues. (And email me if you can help.) If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that I want to help as many people as possible—and this will help me accomplish that. As soon as my application lens is posted, I’ll link you to that as well. Then you’ll have more information about who I am and what I do than anyone on the planet has ever had in the history of the universe. ;}

There’s more to come. I’ve nearly written a novel just in the last week. This is some of the best fun I’ve had in awhile, I’ll tell you. ;}

[Update: Holy cow, you people are incredible! Here is my Alternate MBA tally page. Thank you for everything you’ve done so far!]