Grinder and Bandler, all round-about pages 122-125:
The next question we want to pose to you is “How do you take a series of experiences and build a learning from them?” If I gave you a magic wand that would allow you to tap someone on the head five times and give him five experiences, what five experiences could you use to change somebody? Pick one client that you have and decide how you would like him to be different. Think about it more specifically than “having higher self-esteem.” What would be really different about him in sensory experience? How would he act differently? . . . Now, what experience would he need in order for him to act that way?
A lot of therapists set up understanding as a target state. Clinicians have been very successful at building paradigms that give people understanding, so that people understand exactly what’s wrong with them. They end up with clients who really understand, but they still can’t cope with the world, and they can’t make themselves happy.
The question I’m asking you is “What experiences could you give somebody that would result in building a useful generalization?” It’s a practical question.
Practical question indeed… So much of what we are is based on the generalizations we make, which are in turn based on the experiences we have. What about you? What experiences would you give yourself, with that magic wand, that could result in building a useful generalization… that would serve to create the person you want to be?