worldmegan

I’m sure I was doing something important when my father fumbles in his luggage looking for a particular item and instead comes up with a headlamp. And he puts it on his head and turns it on and it is the most awesome thing I ever saw, but I simply cannot get over the absurdity that he brought it with him—or even bought it in the first place. I ask him where he got it, many exclamation points and question marks, and he says, “I think I sent away for it…” Like maybe he’s almost as amused as I am.

And so I take a picture. Here is my picture!! And I am still experiencing absolute glee that the thing he took out of his travel bag was a headlamp and I tell him that it is the awesomest thing ever in the whole world, as I post my picture of him to Flickr. So he gives me the headlamp.

And so now instead of being unable to get over the absurdity that he packed a headlamp for no reason, I am also in confusion and delight and ridiculousness that he is giving me this awesome pointless wonderful toy!! And I ask him if he’s sure a bunch of times but at some point realize that will only annoy him because obviously he’s giving the thing to me. And I say it is possibly the best present—I search wildly for a time period to encompass this “best present” and find nothing—EVER. The best present EVER.

And I am still laughing because he brought a headlamp to Austin for no reason and then gave it to me. And he takes issue with “no reason”, he says it’s silly to say there’s no reason when obviously the reason was to give it to me. Even if he didn’t know it.

Pbph. Which is bizarrely, precisely the sort of thing he would say. And do.

And so, all I can do is show you the results, and play like a total goose with my new toy:

And, uh, if you want more—there are more. !! I HAS HEADLAMP !!

Today I had a totally unexpected (but really interesting) conversation with one of my cousins. We were talking about religion and spirituality, which is not something I would normally just bring up out of nowhere—but this time it had been on my mind, and all of a sudden we were discussing it.

Has that ever happened to you?

I have been feeling unhappy about the level of closeness and communication (or lack thereof) that I have with my family, my blood kin. My father and I have conversations, and I have them here and there with my mom and sister. But for the most part, I don’t really get to communicate seriously with family members. I barely know my cousins, aunts, uncles. We see each other at family functions less since I’ve moved, but the things we talk about are still all small talk. What have you been up to lately? Nothing much, just the usual, school, work, etc. Repeated till the cows come home, man.

Some of my friends in Austin are really close to their families. In some cases, family members are their best friends in the whole world—they talk about everything. Blood is not their only connection.

Man, have I been jealous.

But today it became really clear to me that the only barrier to this thing is in me—is in my assumption that my family’s “not like that”. And whatever kind of creature or unit my family is, it is still made up of people. They may not all be people I get along with, or people who would agree with me in a drawn-out conversation, or, hell! even people who are capable of processing the sort of things I like to talk about. But that’s sure as shit no reason not to try. How am I ever going to know if I don’t look into it? Pbph. How indeed.

PS. I know I haven’t talked about “meligion” yet. But I will. I swear. If you’ll just be patient, and let it, ah, coalesce in my head… scout’s honor.